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Monday, June 29, 2009 12:00 AM

I studied print journalism: Now what?

I did internships, made connections, got clips, etc., but my parents are still paying my cellphone bill

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  • Sunday, June 28, 2009 07:55 PM

    Three choices

    1. Find a new career.

    2. Embrace poverty and marginlization and ostracism.

    3. Attach yourself to an agenda.

    Number three is your best bet for success in journalism. Seek out, find, and ingratiate yourself to those with power and money. Understand what ideas and views they support, then do your best to support and defend those ideas and views. Within a few years, you'll be set.

    Heres a few ideas to get you started:

    Gay and Lesbian rights
    Women's oppression
    Israel's security (actually, anything about Jewish victimization anywhere in the world)
    Global warming
    The menace of organized religion
    Dangerous white men in America
    Starving black children in Africa, and African orphans
    AIDS
    "Green" anything

    Stay away from:

    The "global warming" economic/financial machine
    The overwhelming evidence that global warming is a hoax
    Palestinian rights and issues
    Zionism as an active force on the world stage
    The good things organized religion does
    Human sexuality as something sacred, spiritual, or meaningful
    Starving white kids in America, or American orphans
    Heart disease in women and men, and it's correlation with labor laws and the poison of our modern-day food industry

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