Permit me to be among the first to tell you how shallow you are -- at least in the ways of love. You are not in love with her, you are infatuated with, and fixated on, a place in your mind where you construct her untainted image.

You fell in love before you had ever interacted with her. To your misfortune, and perhaps eventually hers, meeting her and talking to her didn't spoil the effect.

That you don't understand why she wants to be faithful to her husband is a sign that you should not enter into any deep relationship for a while. Who could trust you?

Since you think you really love her, then you owe it to her to spare her from yourself. Get out of her life now, in a kind and gentle way. You owe it to yourself to learn to love a person, not a phantom of your own design.

What Cary said. I think she goes for drinks with you because you are her friend and she likes you. I think she told you she wants her husbands babies because she's in love with *him* and was subtley sending you a message. She probably got the vibe that you are into her, and she was making sure you didn't get the wrong idea about your friendship.

Friends only! Don't make it wierd by pursuing her, you'll just lose a friend.

Have you thought about dating? Like, other people? You should, if just to get out there and practice. You are probably a really great guy lots of women would want to date, so forget about this co-worker, take a cold shower and get back out there! Cheers

.. from everything in the letter that the obvious answer was that the LW had no chance, but then comes that last line about her readily accepting drinks, so assuming that they don't work in a bar, she is apparently going on mini-dates with the LW after work (or is this in a group setting?). So what is that all about?

I think if I was the LW, I would tell the lady that I wanted her to have my babies too, and see what she said. Probably she would laugh it off and say that it was a no-go. But either way the LW would probably get some valuable feedback about her intentions.

If I want to flirt with married ladies, I will often start by asking something like So how often does your husband beat you, then? to get a feel for the state of her marriage.

my condolences. you know we're all out here in cyberspace for you.