my condolences. you know we're all out here in cyberspace for you.

.. from everything in the letter that the obvious answer was that the LW had no chance, but then comes that last line about her readily accepting drinks, so assuming that they don't work in a bar, she is apparently going on mini-dates with the LW after work (or is this in a group setting?). So what is that all about?

I think if I was the LW, I would tell the lady that I wanted her to have my babies too, and see what she said. Probably she would laugh it off and say that it was a no-go. But either way the LW would probably get some valuable feedback about her intentions.

If I want to flirt with married ladies, I will often start by asking something like So how often does your husband beat you, then? to get a feel for the state of her marriage.

What Cary said. I think she goes for drinks with you because you are her friend and she likes you. I think she told you she wants her husbands babies because she's in love with *him* and was subtley sending you a message. She probably got the vibe that you are into her, and she was making sure you didn't get the wrong idea about your friendship.

Friends only! Don't make it wierd by pursuing her, you'll just lose a friend.

Have you thought about dating? Like, other people? You should, if just to get out there and practice. You are probably a really great guy lots of women would want to date, so forget about this co-worker, take a cold shower and get back out there! Cheers

Permit me to be among the first to tell you how shallow you are -- at least in the ways of love. You are not in love with her, you are infatuated with, and fixated on, a place in your mind where you construct her untainted image.

You fell in love before you had ever interacted with her. To your misfortune, and perhaps eventually hers, meeting her and talking to her didn't spoil the effect.

That you don't understand why she wants to be faithful to her husband is a sign that you should not enter into any deep relationship for a while. Who could trust you?

Since you think you really love her, then you owe it to her to spare her from yourself. Get out of her life now, in a kind and gentle way. You owe it to yourself to learn to love a person, not a phantom of your own design.

"She tends to be, for some reason, very loyal to her husband and even told me that she wants to have his babies. "

The reason is that she is happily married.

All that's here for you is the inspiring experience of meeting the kind of woman you would like to be with. I am buoyed when I meet someone I could fall in love with - it's nice to know you're capable of these feelings and it's nice to know possibilities are out there.

I think you should admire and adore her for what she is, a gorgeous happily married colleague. She's going out for drinks with you because even beautiful happily married women like to go for drinks with friends. Amazing but true.

How can you really and truly be in love with someone you've never had a conversation with? Cary's right, it's a crush and it seems way bigger in your mind than it is in reality. Probably cause you have nothing else going on. So go get something else going on and forget about this one, she's taken. Oh, and please try to inject some reality into your situation. Look at it through her eyes, try to really put yourself in her shoes. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself when you understand other people's perspective.

with that "come hither" look! Hot forbidden co-worker sex is the BEST especially if she's married!!!

Wow. Thanks for reminding him to stay in touch with reality. He seems a little bit out there!

Sam, if you make a move on this woman, I hope her husband kicks your ass. I hope she spits on you while you're writhing on the ground, too.

Seriously, grow up. You sound like you're one second away from being an obsessed stalker. This woman is happily married, so leave her alone. Jerk off if you have to, but find yourself a single woman.

Do you really want to ruin people's lives, including your own? Back the fuck off.

That's a no-go right there.

And she tells you that she's faithful to her husband and wants to have children with him?

Dude, you have NO CHANCE with this girl.

She's the type of girl you want to be with, sure. But she, herself, is off-limits.

Go find someone who's available (read: NOT MARRIED).

how creepy you come across in your letter. Reading it, I felt myself wishing I knew the young woman so I could advise her to get a restraining order.

The look on her husband's face will be priceless. Make sure she doesn't give you genital warts because if she's cheating on her husband she's probably cheating on you too.

What an odd thing to say! What do you mean that "she seems to be, for some reason, loyal to her husband." I feel like either you left something out that would explain why it would be odd for her to be loyal to her husband (like, she revealed to you that he cheated on her or something), or you just have no idea what it means to be married.

So let me tell you:

Being married means, ideally, you've made a commitment to a person to whom you will be loyal.

I had a crush on a married man once, but I never did a thing about it, because he was married and he loved his wife. And then I met someone who wasn't married, and I moved on, and that was the end of that.