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A ten-year old watches her mother go insane and is abandoned. The father can't be bothered to do much more than write checks on his daughter's behalf and invite her to dinner once a week. When she's twelve, father's girlfriend enters the picture. For four years, girlfriend takes no interest in the child, and now apparently fears the child will clash with her tasteful accessorizing of Dad's new condo.
I disagree with those who suggest the letter writer should split up with the girl's father. Letter writer and Dad are clearly compatible - two matching ice cubes in the tray, and if they split up, one or both might hook up with a genuine human being by accident, and wreck some other kid's life.
As for the child, she's going to sink or swim with no help from anybody, except possibly the nanny. The only advice I can think of for the letter writer is - get spayed!