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The LW shows not a shred of empathy or sympathy. This is a child--one who has been abandoned and unloved and the LW is blaming her!?!. And what is the big deal about the dirty towel? Was any one harmed? Who cares? And btw lots of people don't get haircuts very often.
Some of this hatred is clearly gendered. Would a boy who forgot to get haircuts or used dirty towels be the object of such disgust? I doubt it. That's just how teenage boys are. But because she isn't obsessed by her looks, reads all the time, and isn't freaked out by her own menstrual blood this child is unacceptable.
Cary is absolutely right the LW has no business even contemplating marriage to a man whose daughter she despises. What an ugly, ugly letter.
