- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
It seems to be that everybody is assuming that the father will start taking care of his daughter, once he's reminded to do so. From reading the story I'd think that he hasn't shown any real interest in being involved with his daughter. What makes people think that all of a sudden, by the mere mention that he 'should' be taking care of his daughter and getting involved in her life he'll see the light and instantly change his ways.
The advice given sounds good, about the woman having to make a decision to back out of the relationship, if she's unwilling to take care of the daughter. I'm a little worried that the boyfriend/father to Anna will rebound to another woman to fill the void in his life, and the story will start all over again.
I agree with the commenter who says that you can not fake love for someone else's child Personally I'm happily married, and also have a 16-year old step-daughter, whom I consider no different that if she was my very own daughter. As a matter of fact, I don't even use the 'step'part when introducing her to people; she's my daughter. Anybody who knows me is aware that I love her very much and that I'm very proud of her.
It would take a lot of counseling for the writer to shed herself of all the resentment built up over the last 4 years, observing Anna growing up. The writer, being 29, seems to have a very short memory; already having forgotten about being a teenager herself. I have to say that the writer's mother did a pretty good job raising her; after all she raised her in such a way that the writer takes credit for everything she knows, not realizing that her mother was the teacher. As it has been pointed out, Anna did not have that benefit, and I fault the father for not having stepped into that role, and instead having 'shipped' her off to a nanny.
It's a sad story, but my advice would be to have Anna evaluated by a child psychologist. It is not too late to intervene. With proper guidance Anna may very well still turn out to be a well-adjusted adult - just a little later than expected.
