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I also had one of those "genius" boyfriends who I thought was the love of my life, who eventually ended up scorning me, making "veiled put-downs" and then taking off to pursue his ambitions, and who then returned six months later to tell me he would "make it up to me" if I'd give him another chance. Of course I had a boyfriend at the time, but nobody who I considered special. My friends thought I was crazy not to take him back. But I figured he was motivated by feeling lonely, confused, and of course no human likes to think they lost something good. And I was that something good.
Just because he realized he'd lost something good, I reasoned, doesn't mean he was right for me and we should get back together. The put-downs. The lack of regard and respect for all that I'd done to help him. I remembered all that. That's not how I wanted to be treated by anyone. I had never treated a boyfriend who I wanted to break up with that way. A person's worst behavior is often an indication of what's really there, under the veneer. I did not take him back.
Of course I immediately got dumped by my other boyfriend! Irony! He dumped me in a bid to beat me to being dumped himself when he knew I was thinking about my ex's offer. I felt like I'd been bitten in the ass by ironic Fate. I felt like I was being punished -- you know, you get tired of someone, then someone gets tired of you. You reject someone, then someone rejects you. It seems to happen without fail, the balance of the goddam universe has to be maintained!
Anyway, all I'm saying is: THIS IS THE OLDEST STORY IN THE WORLD. The question is not what you should do. The question is, are you going to let yourself be written into it by these two men, or are you going to write your own story by just getting past this, dropping both of these apparent (to me and probably to other readers) losers, and getting some self-awareness and maturity? What do you want from life? I haven't heard you say anything about a desperate need to be in a relationship because you need to have a baby within 3 years or something. Examine your goals. Do you need love? Do you need intellectual stimulation? Do you need a father to your children? Get real with yourself, then get real with your relationship to the world, and men.
