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Read other letters about this article
Read goeswithness post again - it was worth repeating:
"It sounds like you struggle and struggle and sweat and push to try to make these relationships fit a mold - what you think they're supposed to be. And when they don't fit, you look for another mold to cram them into, or avoid the men completely. How about just letting them be what they're meant to be? Relationships do change, and sometimes they need to end, for awhile at least. If you don't feel any drive to be with a guy, you're not doing either of you any favors by hanging on.
Don't think in terms of "supposed to be" - in terms of who people are, what "intelligent people" are supposed to be like, what things are supposed to be like between people who had a good time one summer - things change. Think about the way they ARE."
As well - harlemita said this, which I thought was on point:
"Anyway, all I'm saying is: THIS IS THE OLDEST STORY IN THE WORLD. The question is not what you should do. The question is, are you going to let yourself be written into it by these two men, or are you going to write your own story by just getting past this, dropping both of these apparent (to me and probably to other readers) losers, and getting some self-awareness and maturity? What do you want from life? I haven't heard you say anything about a desperate need to be in a relationship because you need to have a baby within 3 years or something. Examine your goals. Do you need love? Do you need intellectual stimulation? Do you need a father to your children? Get real with yourself, then get real with your relationship to the world, and men."
Listen to these people.
