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In a year or two you'll look back on your life and ask yourself WTF was I thinking? Of all the men in all the world, you managed to stick yourself to a couple of losers/users/uncommitted/unrealized/men that you are trying to re-work into something you can't even describe. Live alone for a year or two and see if you can't figure something out. Anything. Are you such a loser that all these "intelligent" men will use you and leave you or are you just dreaming up these attributes and assigning them to the ones you got stuck with? Splash some cold water om your face and try to live with yourself first and then decide what you want in life and love.
