Because she sounds a lot more scared that husband will give her grief over her "incompetence" than she does about losing some money. (And, as others have pointed out, she's got 25 years to retirement, so why the worry in that department?) LW, do you and husband have some sort of financial competition going on here? Is he trying to prove his conservative investing approach is "right"--and if so, why? As Cary implied, it sounds like you two have a bigger problem than your monetary losses. What do you care what he thinks about how you handle _your_ account? And if he's unforgiving or gloating, what does that say about your relationship?

You have three choices otherwise:

Outlive your healthcare

Outlive your money

Die early

I pick option 4. Keep working. If you think the generation of people who can afford to retire is mostly gone NOW, just you wait another 25 years. By then you'll all be working full time until you drop dead. The social security retirement age will be 80. The economy will be smashed up for a few years and to recover, our overlords will crush the middle class. So if you're 40 now, you will shortly have to support BOTH your parents AND your children.

You are all so screwed and it is hysterically funny how astonished the look on your faces will be when it finally hits you.

You are worrying unnecessarily. Get your husband a copy of the Economist's Guide to Investment Strategy book and tell him the downfall.

I made the same mistake myself. I saved 75% in state investments (government bonds) and rest in 100% stock market investments (through mutual funds).

The market crash wiped me clean. I don't regret it.

Risk is inherent in any investment. The degree of acceptable risk over return is what makes an investment.

In 2006 i made an excel sheet and found out that More Risk does not mean more return. Neither does less return means less return.

I was calculating returns on Mutual Funds of a large bank (long term) versus the bank's own FDs and CDs and Gilt edge funds.

In a period of 1-2 years, investing in CDs and Gilt edge funds actually brought MORE returns than a riskier investment. (this was just before the crash: i should have understood the meaning). I switched more from stock market to these funds and had left only 25% in stock market when it crashed.

Do a research and read the book. Its very good.

Judging from your letter, it sounds like, irregardless of your funds' performance, you have a good handle on your family economics. Only a fixed rate mortgage, and both spouses with retirement investments? Do you understand how many fellow Americans would love to have your problem? Why are you in competition with your husband? Relax.

Investing in the market is the same as gambling. You knew this. Now, you just lost a hand. Any decent poker player will tell you that the correct response is not to get crazy-tight. Just don't go all in on pocket threes next time.

Finally, before you allow your husband to gloat or to deride you, calculate the average annual yields over the lifetime of your and his investments. Don't try to predict the future. Just evaluate the performance to date. Compare, then decide whose opinion should carry the most weight in financial decisions.

People should understand that how they percieve that mythical glass doesn't affect the glass itself. This glass is neither optimistic or pessimistic. It is. Markets are unpredictable. Advisors are unreliable and self-interested. If you know that you are consistently optimistic, then you should search for ways to balance that, perhaps by letting a more pessimistic person have some input into your decisions. Of course, they need to remain your decisions, but they need to be dispassionate, logical ones. Bubbles burst. This is your new mantra. Bubbles burst.

Not the letter, though it should be as simple as to tell the LW (who should in turn tell her husband) to be thankful for what she does have. People are losing homes and jobs -- losing on your investments with 25 years to go before retirement is a small problem. A problem, to be sure, but a small one.

No, what is truly tacky, unbelievably insensitive and grossly irresponsible, is Cary's introductory hawking of the $1,000+ "meet Cary Tennis" weekend. While I do not begrudge anyone trying to make a buck in these hard times, prefacing a letter about financial loss and marital discord with such shameless self-promotion is just downright rude. Spend money and take out a proper advert, or devote an entire column to this flabbergastingly marked-up weekend, but fie, fie on Cary for plugging his private endeavors in a space that should be devoted to the LW and her concerns.

I will not draw attention to Cary's own lack of creative success. Nor will I mention his complete lack of qualifications for teaching creative writing or attempting art-as-therapy sessions. No, I will simply say that an agony aunt needs more... tact and apparent, if not actual, dignity. Especially in such trying times.

You'd be surprised how many people don't even want to look at their 401Ks. I'm seeing it mentioned all over the place. I'm guessing your husband doesn't want to know, either. If he did, he would have asked you by now.

One way to look at the "should I stay or should I go" question is that stock investment can come down to a matter of faith -- do you have have faith that the stock market will endure, correcting itself and averaging out just fine over the next 25 years you still have till retirement? If you do, stick it out. (Keep in mind that you don't actually lose money until you sell your stocks.) But as far as particular stock you own, you should definitely look into getting perspectives from several smart financial types, and/or your plan may offer no-brainer recommended diversified investments correlated to varying retirement horizons.

Don't beat yourself up about the current bath we're all taking lately. It's very likely that those who jumped ship over the last few months may come to regret it, perhaps sooner than later. There's just no way the average 401Ker could have had the know-how required to see this (temporary?)implosion coming.

And actually, taking the larger perspective of your and your husband's combined approaches, the two of you might be pretty brilliant. He's in CDs, stodgy and safe and making guaranteed interest, and you're out there trying to earn greater gains. Very yin/yang, I'd say.

Good luck to you, and to all of us as this craziness shakes out.