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• Monday, December 1, 2008 07:55 AM

  Lessons to be learned

  Please stop beating yourself up. You're in the position that most of us who've invested are, and you've got a long time horizon in which to recover. A couple things to remember: until you actually need the money, it's paper profits. Over time (more than a century) the markets' direction has been upward (although with some NASTY plunges, one of which we're now in).

  I'm frankly more concerned about several things I read from your letter:

  1. Are you buying individual stock positions? It's going to take a long time to achieve financial diversification that way. Mutual funds? Are they diversified? Growth and value, various levels of capitalization? Are they suitable for the level of risk you can tolerate?

  2. Your husband is buying CDs. What if inflation shoots up?

  3. You seem to be doing this separately -- and you have at least 25 more years to go until retirement. You are not working as a team, which is not the best financial habit to develop.

  4. You're afraid to tell him. This is not a pair of Manolos you've splurged on; this is your family's future, and you should be in this together.

  5. You're not doing this with an advisor. Find yourself someone you respect and ask for a referral or two. Interview these advisors. They will give you complimentary consultations. See what they recommend. Make an informed choice, if you intend to continue investing.

  6. You are not in this alone.

  And it doesn't make you a bad person. The two of you need to work together rather than behave like Lucille Ball sneaking a hat past Ricky Ricardo. For you, perhaps a workshop on women and investing could give you more confidence. What's interesting is that the two of you seem to have reversed gender "styles." Start over now, and good luck.

  —Greeneyedkzin Read Greeneyedkzin's other letters
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