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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
I can't add much to Cary's advice today—I think he explains the best way to begin tackling this painful problem. I hope that you and your husband are good allies in all things, and that you will be able to work together, with a good advisor, to re-build a financial foundation for yourselves.
What I would like to say here is that over the past year or so, I have made organizing my personal finances (spending, saving, credit card debt, etc.) made number one priority. Obession, actually. Why? Because for the first 20 years of my working/student/working/student career my finances and personal debt management skills have been absolutely atrocious. A total embarrassment.
I don't know anything about stocks or investments (total ignorance, but I'm now starting to learn) but I know how terrifying it can be to see those bills or credit card statements lying there . . . ominously . . . and knowing that they don't go away until I deal with them.
So I started to deal with it baby-step by baby-step. I started reading good introductory books like "The Weathy Barber" "Smart Women Finish Rich" "Dept is Slavery" and the everything by Suze Orman. All have good advice for the most part, especially for someone like me who needed serious help with ALL the basics.
The book that has helped me the MOST, however, is "Your Money or Your Life" (by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin) — which matches my personal beliefs in simplicity. It's not for everyone, and it takes a number of months to start to "get" their program, which is highly detailed, but I have found it to be very insightful. It's not easy and but it is worth it once you get into the swing of it.
The goal is to track not only your spending and saving, but also the "life hours" you have to exchange for any money you earn. THIS, more than my own bad habits, was the REAL shock. Let's just say it's more than 40 hours per week for that little ol' paycheck.
The only caveat I would note about it (and which I was sceptical about last year BUT FULLY APPRECIATE NOW is that, unlike to other books I just mentioned, this book does not recommend the stock market AT ALL—their approach is low-expense, debt-free living (scrimping and saving) with an emphasis on bonds and other absoultely risk-free "investing."
So, I don't know if that kind of philosophical approach will help with your immediate situation, but you might find that it gives you a different perspective on what everyone is going through right now.
Be honest, be courageous, and be there for each other.
Best wishes to you and your husband.
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