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Judging from your letter, it sounds like, irregardless of your funds' performance, you have a good handle on your family economics. Only a fixed rate mortgage, and both spouses with retirement investments? Do you understand how many fellow Americans would love to have your problem? Why are you in competition with your husband? Relax.
Investing in the market is the same as gambling. You knew this. Now, you just lost a hand. Any decent poker player will tell you that the correct response is not to get crazy-tight. Just don't go all in on pocket threes next time.
Finally, before you allow your husband to gloat or to deride you, calculate the average annual yields over the lifetime of your and his investments. Don't try to predict the future. Just evaluate the performance to date. Compare, then decide whose opinion should carry the most weight in financial decisions.
People should understand that how they percieve that mythical glass doesn't affect the glass itself. This glass is neither optimistic or pessimistic. It is. Markets are unpredictable. Advisors are unreliable and self-interested. If you know that you are consistently optimistic, then you should search for ways to balance that, perhaps by letting a more pessimistic person have some input into your decisions. Of course, they need to remain your decisions, but they need to be dispassionate, logical ones. Bubbles burst. This is your new mantra. Bubbles burst.