The LW expresses a lot of faith in 'the system'. I have some faith in the system, but I also know from experience that no system can meet everyone's needs, all the time. People are too complicated. Systems are too 'behemothic', if you know what I mean. Therefore, while it's important to act as a good participant in the system - making regular contributions to charities and paying taxes - it's also important to act as a human being, simply responding to another human being.

I think it's wonderful that your son is already acting on his instincts as a human being. I think you would be crazy to warp or distort these impulses. He'll find out soon enough that you can't trust everyone, but a loving generous heart is priceless and it will get him through.

In most places in the US, what she said was not true. Some places have generous benefits, most do not.

I'm more worried about corporate welfare fraud than poor people defrauding the system.

Sounds like the LW is glad to give money away - so long as it doesn't involve actually having to face the people it's going to. How very generous - NOT.

How wonderful for you. The guy on the ground, not so much.

Young children often have more empathy than adults. They love animals and give money to beggars. Most likely he'll grow out of it.

Dear LW,

I went to apply for food stamps once. It was a miserable, dehumanizing, and utterly futile experience, during which I had a panic attack in a windowless waiting room where we were not allowed to ask any questions of the woman behind the window about why our appointments were over 3 hours behind schedule.

It's nowhere near as easy being low-income in this country as you seem to believe.

That said, I tend to believe that people begging on the street have probably not exhausted options available to them through social service agencies, churches, charities, public assistance, etc. I've been scammed a couple times, and it stung. So I don't give to people on the street anymore; I give to an organization dedicated to giving critical, material support to families in trouble in my own city.

Be glad your son has generous impulses. He sees human suffering and wants to aleve it in the most direct way he can conceive of. Clearly you've raised him with compassion and empathy. You can honor that, while teaching him that there are ways to direct his money so that he can be sure it's doing more good for more people.

But don't fool yourself that government social services are up to handling all the human problems out there.

One option might be to offer your son another option for giving. I'm fond of Heifer International for kids (and adults) because it's tangible, and it helps poor families around the world become self-sufficient. Another option might be a local soup kitchen or shelter. He may be less likely to give to a panhandler if he feels that he's giving to a needy person somewhere else.

Even in the US, with much less of a safety net, I'm reluctant to give to pan handlers. The people begging on the streets are usually not the neediest people.

As the first comment said, it's just a phase. Don't worry. You're probably over-thinking this a little. He's just six. These are actually two separate issues. One is your irritation at able-bodied panhandlers. Understandable. The other issue is your frustration over your child's behavior. It's a little irrational to try to have this debate with a six-year old. It's a phase.

And get ready for a LOT of self-righteous, judgmental snark.

On a second reading of the letter (forgive me; it's past my bedtime) it sinks in better that you're not in the same country as I am...it may be a good deal easier being low-income in your country, and payroll taxes higher.

Still--at least one person has managed to fall through the cracks of the welfare system. It's not frequently anymore that I agree with the US's right wing, but they're right in this: the government can't do everything. We're still responsible for each other.

Charity is rich people telling the middle class to give to the poor.

Awful lot of justifying your position here, which is so interesting side-by-side with your kid's spontaneous, natural generosity. Wouldn't it be cool to drop the defensiveness and just take a second look at your point of view? I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but if you were really sure then you wouldn't get so defensive.

Also, I don't get the part about giving a 5-year-old "a little spending money." Is this what we're doing now? Anyway, I guess it's his cash to blow, right? I love how he's finding more of your "hard-earned money" that you completely ignore in the sofa cushions. Hilarious! Cool kid!

There are some lessons we must teach our children as quickly as possible: Don't play with fire. Look both ways. Share with the other kids.

Other lessons we just might want to delay. Others we might just hope that our children never have to learn. I'd say that this kind of cynicism definitely belongs in the delay group. Does teaching a six-year old to disregard the visible suffering of others help to instill the kinds of moral values you want the child to have? There's plenty of time in life to learn all of its disappointments.

Hey, if this is really a problem for you, why not take the kid to a shelter and show him the correct way to practice compassion? Cheaper to just let Jr. give the bum his snack money, isn't it?

You are seriously overthinking this, and not to your son's good. He'll have plenty of time to grow up and do all the math and decide that unemployed people have it too damn good, or possibly that they don't.

For now, he's six, and when he looks at a person, he sees a person, not a set of calculations. Don't you think that's kind of nice? Can't you let him be that sweet little person for a couple more years?

Plus, I don't think you get, really get, that every day's encounters and activities loom huge, really huge, to a child. Don't be surprised if he spends quite a bit of time before he falls asleep ruminating and worrying about beggars.

If you just can't think in terms of giving a beggar a break, give your kid one.