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Read other letters about this article
Great answer, Cary.
To the LW - bad bosses aren't unusual. It's a crucial job skill to learn how to get along with people, and if you can't do that, learn how to tolerate them.
It's in your interest to stay on in this job. Therefore you should see it as in your interest to get on with your boss. Forget liking or not liking. Since when did that have anything to do with it? In your dealings with her you should keep the fact that you need this job in the forefront of your mind. Earning money and holding down a productive position in the world is meaningful. In the face of adverse circumstances it can be heroic.
One thing I've found helpful is to see it all as part of the fight for survival. Which in fact staying in your job very much is. Particularly these days yada yada yada. So - when she's being terrible you frame it in terms of a fight: 'you are NOT going to drive me out of here.' When you get through a particularly unpleasant meeting or dispiriting day you think: 'I have done it. I have held on. I am still here. I will survive.' It's not just you against this woman. It's you against the whole massive system that is the working world. It's you clinging on to a cliff face that is indifferent if you fall off. Just as your boss probably would be.
