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Read other letters about this article
Cary's advice was fine and the reply entitled "Wait" was right on. Suppose this guy smokes for 25 years and dies after his kids graduate from college. Tragic? Sure, but not more so than what most of us deal with by the time we're 30.
Compare that with maintaining two households, the financial mess of that, sharing holidays, eventually dating and getting involved with step-parents who may or may not connect with the kids, all of that loss and insecurity.
Compare that with the inconvenience of smelling smoke on a persons clothes. So what? The smell of cigars still reminds me of my dad. He eventually quit, and tobacco hasn't killed him yet. Something else will.
I have friends whose parents were heavy smokers their whole lives. They some of them have died. Some of them are dying awful deaths. But they live well otherwise. Nobody wishes they hadn't been along for the ride.
For sure the control issue is central here. Don't they say that there's nothing worse than a reformed addict?
Live and let live a little. Let go and let Buddha.
There's a great book called "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" that contains a wealth of good quotes. Here's one: "The best way to control your sheep or cow is to give it a wide, spacious meadow."
Drop it.
Wait and see what happens.
