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i've been going through a very similar experience, and once i got away so much of the crying stopped, and i wasn't always exhauseted from the stress, and i felt. . . actually. . . GOOD for once.
a book that helped me too see the really straightforward pattern of abuse i was living (verbal or physical, they are essentially the same beast) was "ditch that jerk". don't remember author, excellent language and reality based look at who is REALLY going to change and why and how. super strength to you sister