It's a big change, to go from living for others to living for yourself. Of course those around you who have enjoyed getting their way all the time because of your people-pleasing are going to object. You're taking someone away from them. But you're giving it to you. I don't see that as at all selfish or narcissistic (if it is, it's a healthy narcissism). And the people who truly care about you, who aren't just using you to get things and take advantage of, will support you in doing what will make YOU happy, even if they think it's weird or don't want it for themselves. It might take a while to adjust to the "new you," but most people should come around after a while. And those who don't can be cut out of your life - get rid of the toxic friends and the sarcastic, negative, sniping, envious people. I know, I'm saying that like it's easy, but I know all too well it is very hard. It's shocking to realize that a lot of people in all of our lives are just there because of what they can get from us, and really don't have the maturity or empathy to want what's best for us if it doesn't give them anything. But man, if you could succeed in getting rid of those people, think how great life would be.

Recently I got a blood clot in my leg from flying, which is a very life-threatening situation. I'm only 30, and healthy and active with no family history or warning signs. I'll be on treatment for 6 months and then have to be aware for the rest of my life that it might recur. So, there are some parallels in our story.

However, unlike you I do not regret the choices that I have made in my life up until now. I am single as I wish to be, I've traveled the world many times over, and I love my career and colleagues and friends.

The one single thing that I felt regret for was not telling the people in my life that I loved them every single time I could.

And now I feel that I need to spread that message.

I had the opposite experience. I have a disease that is not going to kill me, at least not until I am elderly. But it does make life suck really bad when it kicks in. My lung collapses, and I am off my feet and unable to do anything enjoyable for months and there is a painful operation and a long recuperative period. Since my spectre is not the end of all, it doesn't compel me to do all the things I wish I'd done, it makes me appreciate all I have instead. A woman who loves me, a body that is strong and healthy right now, but may not be tomorrow (or even a second from now), a home, steady income, my wonderful dog. I don't think its a good idea to use the spectre of death to live a nihilistic lifestyle. Whether you have twenty years or a hundred or one, the simplest things in life are the most wonderful, and they won't be augmented by tatoos and plastic surgery.

Allie, I've never heard those sentiments put so well. Thank you for sharing them with us.

Having had a couple (at least, so far) of Near Death (tm) experiences so far (one via doctor's office medical diagnosis, one via Jeep coming through the windshield of my car at 50mph), I feel eminently qualified to say -- you might as well make the best life you can while you're here, who knows how long that will be?

I wish the LW all the best, but I wonder if she is currently in the "wow I'm alive and I need to change EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY LIFE!" mode that, while tremendously exhilarating and more than a bit of fun, doesn't necessarily continue on (the feeling, that is), for years on end. That is, much of life is really just putting in the day-to-day stuff, so making the day-to-day stuff happen in the most positive way is quite a feat in itself (laundry, cooking, the occasional bath). Plus a sense of humor helps.

I noticed that the LW starts by saying she's an adventurous person, has a successful career, went to a good school, your basic semi-cheerful resume ... but now that she's recovering from cancer, the job sucks, she wants to go back to school, lose the loser friends, stop being Miss Nicey Nice ... I'm sensing a bit of a "disconnect" there between how she sees/saw her life before, and what she'd like to do with her remaining time on this mortal coil. So, question is, beyond the joy of wanting to live each moment to the fullest from now on -- *is* her current life in need of major overhaul, or is this a bit of a rebound feeling that may change just a bit as days go by?

In either case, I'm all for travel and enjoying interacting with positive people, so I highly recommend going for that, no matter how long we have to live. As for tattoos and plastic surgery ... if you've got a lot of free time and money available for those things, I'd probably lean towards spending it on "non-body" things/experiences, for the time being ... you've discovered that your physical body is rather ephemeral, no use putting a lot of mechanical modifications into something that's probably not all that solid to begin with. No offense, I mean be gentle with your machinery and maybe spend the $$$ on better foods and some good beer, you can get the same results through alcohol as with tattoos and plastic surgery.

Your husband is the wild card -- I dunno what your relationship is like, you seem to be okay with each other, but then, you also presented your career, schooling, and life in general as "pretty good/pretty bad," so maybe your feelings towards him change regularly too. Anyway, not much I can help you with there except to say, be fair and considerate with him, whatever your choices. He's dying too, by the way.

Last but not least, welcome to a great and wonderful world, where you realize how little most things really matter, and how mostly little things matter the most.

Now, stop reading this crap and go play!