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Saturday, Jul 4, 2009
Whenever you try to improve yourself, you will encounter gatekeepers: people who want to keep you as you are, who are comfortable with you and even invested in you as a failure.
If you're fat and want to lose weight you will have friends who try to sabotage you because if you were skinny and fit you wouldn't be able to eat pizza and ice cream with them when they're depressed. If you're poor, you will have friends who don't want you to get a better job because then they would have to take a hard look at their own circumstances. If you're easily frustrated and like to have screaming hysterical fights with your mother, heaven forbid you should learn to calmly say, "You know, I never thought of it like that" and not let her get under your skin. If you're a junkie your junkie friends don't want you to get clean and if you're addicted to video games your WoW clan will be very upset if you suddenly start spending your free time studying.
It doesn't matter what the issue is, there is someone who wants you to stay shitty. Usually a bunch of someones. Your old self chose these people and these relationships for a reason. They are afraid your new self will feel differently.
Before you can pass through the gate, you have to kill the gatekeepers. Not literally, I hope. But you have to let them know that the old sucky you really is going bye bye and they better get used to the idea. Truly toxic and enabling relationships need to be ended for good, but it sounds like most of your relationships are basically healthy ones, with people who care about you. Gently but firmly let these people know that you want support, and don't appreciate sabotage. Then go on your way.
The Wasilla soap opera just gets weirder as Palin complains critics are "picking apart a good point guard"
The media outlet's use of Bush euphemisms sparks a much-needed debate on journalistic standards.
And so are his Fox News pals, who lambasted Sen. Al Franken's "stolen election"
An inflexible right wing is allowing the Golden State to drown in debt. But it's not alone
Thanks for sharing, Governor. Now please take a cue from Norm Coleman, and go away
Salon headlines in your mailbox
