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What a TL;DR bit of bloviation, and all in service of a single, stupid point: You should disregard everyone else and do whatever you want.
You are married, LW. You have obligations. If you were a man, Cary would remind you of this. Your spouse is indeed a part of the decisions you make.
That doesn't mean you have to return to being exactly what you were. There will be changes. However, if you want to stay married, your spouse deserves to be included in the process.
Your family will also need to be consulted, albeit to a lesser degree. They get input, but not a vote. Still, if you want to maintain a connection with them, you need to make them a part of the process.
