Absolutely and anonymously. Try to right a bit of the wrong you may have done by helping her see the truth about her scusband. If it were me, (and I've been the one cheated on by my scumbag husband=scusband) I would appreciate the truth in the short and long term.

She's just "planning" to.

"In two weeks I will return to college to finish my B.A. after a two-year hiatus. I figured that this would be a good time to get rid of the married guy."

I think you'd be doing this woman a real favor if you told her.

If she chooses to ignore you, or blame you, or make excuses for him, so be it. But if I were a young wife contemplating starting a family, I'd want to know that my husband was cheating on me.

You could spare this woman -- and her eventual children -- a lifetime of hell, and you could help her get out while she's still young and can start over.

Please be sure to follow Cary's excellent advice:

* do not tell her at work

* do not be melodramatic

* after you've told her, move on with your life

I'd also add that you should tell her that you only found out he was married after you'd been dating a while. It won't help her come to terms with her situation if she thinks you are a slut who seduced a married man.

And definitely get tested!!!

I was in this position 10 years ago: Knew something was wrong, didn't know what because it had been carefully hidden. Turns out he was cheating with multiple women in our home town and several other countries. Friends where we lived knew of one of them, spoke to him, but couldn't bring themselves to talk to me. Eventually it broke open when I received an anonymous call from someone acting on behalf of one of the women who thought it would end my marriage. (And it did, eventually, but not to that other woman's benefit.)

So: Yes, she needs to know. I would have been very grateful if any of the people who knew had spoken up, though I can't blame them that they didn't. But also: The shock, if you really don't know, is paralyzing, and no one in that situation can control their emotions. So I don't recommend that you begin by speaking to her face-to-face. The encounter will immediately become about you; she'll be enraged and bereft and chase you away, and afterward, when she has calmed down and needs information from you, you won't want to repeat the encounter.

So, my suggestion for protecting yourself and also helping her:

1) Build a dossier. Don't just copy URLS. Screengrab the ads and any social-network activity, into pdfs, with time-stamps. Dinner receipts. Ticket stubs. Anything.

2) Write her a long letter. Do not use your name. Say you are one of the women, you will always regret it, you have discovered the extent of the activity, here is the proof. Find a way to get it delivered to her in a way that makes sure she will get it and he will not see it - walk into a FedEx office, address it to her at her workplace, pay cash, specify "signature receipt."

3) In the letter, offer to meet with her. Provide a way for her to contact you that does not identify you to her (or to him if she uses this to challenge him) - get a new Gmail account or similar. But do not meet with her until she has processed the letter and contents.

4) Be prepared for her to hate you and not thank you. If she agrees to meet with you, do it in public and bring a friend for your safety. Make sure the friend knows in advance what the guy looks like.

And finally, cut all ties with the situation, leave town, do not do anything so self-indulgent and stupid ever again, and pray to whatever higher powers you recognize that you have done enough to expiate this. Because karma is a boomerang, you know. You can't keep it from coming back; you can only face it, or let it hit you hard in the back of the head. You have an opportunity here to face up to it. You won't get as good a second chance.

Should I tell my boyfriend's wife about our affair?

No. Let his wife be the one to decide that; it's her relationship, not yours; and if you cared enough about her to have sex with her, then you should care enough to keep your mouth shut and avoid doing her more harm than good.

But I'm still not sure. Part of me says to just leave. Another says, "Wait--he was with YOU for over a year before you knew that he was married?"

So, my best guess is this: Tell her, because he is continuing this behavior, and she may or may not know about it. But do it anonymously. If you know where she works, *67 and then tell her to check the personals in XYZ newspaper/online ads.

Go away. Be wiser the next time--cheaters usually leave clues all over the place. I would bet a whole lot that you just weren't looking.

Tell your friends, because they know you, they know that you are miserable, and they, right now, don't know why.

...with goddesses, with mortal women. And Hera, Zeus's wife, always went after the women. Hera turned Zeus's girlfriends into trees and animals and bugs and so on. Hera put up with Zeus forever, but she punished his lovers and their children.

This wife is NOT going to like you or thank you. She may turn you into a bug. And after that, the guy himself just may squash you. Do not bring yourself to the goddess wife's attention. Steal away to the far end of the Black Sea, and live quietly.

I wasn't sure . But after reading the letters I have to say the ex-wives have convinced me...

Let her Know!