I am an anxious person who is especially wigged out by travel--planes, semis, highways, bridges, cars, speeds over 50, water, you name it, I can tell you how it will kill you. Still....my family went on a cruise about 4 years ago and after the first night (you have to get used to the motion of the boat, and the sea was rough), I was able to relax and have a great time. Obviously I don't know how you think, etc., and Cary's right--you should check with your therapist and get meds if you need them, but I bet you'd have a fantastic time! Plus, cruise ships do have a hospital area and medical personnel, they do put in at ports of call, and are in contact with the authorities in the area, so if by chance you do have some big problem, they will help you, and you will be fine. If you're anything like me, just knowing that there's a safety net will help you counter the catastrophizing.

Good luck and bon voyage!!!!!!!!

What's the worst that can happen? If you absolutely hate it, you can leave the ship and return home during one of its many stops. Try to focus on the wonderful possibilities of a trip like this: the people you'll meet, the places you'll see, the unique experience you can draw on when you return. It's only nine months! Challenge yourself a little and the rewards will be there! Good luck!

It is incredibly common to catastrophize (a real word I hadn't known) before a trip. My sister does it, a former boyfriend did it, I've done it. Definitely, absolutely go. Get a prescription for Ativan or something to calm you down for the trip there, but I bet you won't even need it. You will have SO much fun. The anxiety will dissipate once you get there. Have a great time. You will give so many people so much pleasure with your music.

Let me go in your place!

Sheesh.

Sorry Cary, but that comment is too silly not to go unchallenged.

I'm sure that playing Hot Hot Hot & the Macarena for 9 months could be a way to pass the time, but one of life's great experiences, it is not.

Cruise ships are inescapable. If he hates the gig, he is literally trapped. If the guy has those kinds of issues, he darn well better work them out ahead of time. You are indeed correct to suggest he seek help ahead of making the decision.

My advice to the musician: Try to remember that just because cruise ships serve a lot of food, don't mistake quantity for quality. And if you go, you simply have to exercise to keep your head clear.

With your incessant bitching that Cary blathers and doesn't directly answers questions, as well as your constant and weird nittering about fake letters, you've turned Cary overnight into ABIGAIL VAN BUREN.

I hope you're happy. I'm certainly not.

Dear lw,

As I chime in with everyone else, and say that this is an amazing opportunity that you absolutely shouldn't miss... I also acknowledge the paralyzing terror that both anxiety and depression can cause--even to the extent of not being able to truly make a decision.

The fact that you are comfortable on a small boat is a very good thing. In fact, I doubt this is really about the ship at all. It's really about the 9 month commitment and the inability to escape the situation if you don't like it. You are worried you will feel trapped; that perhaps you will have a relapse or a terrible time, and be stuck living in it without a choice to leave. Honestly, that's a valid fear when you suffer from anxiety and depression.

It's true that most people with these ailments really don't understand the trauma it can cause. "Snap out it!" and "Just GO!" is the kind of advice I hope you can throw overboard.

I hope for you that you will be able to make the decision that's best for you. Whatever that is, whatever that will continue to help you progress in your recovery and your life.

Good luck.

I have a similar problem and hopefully my experience will be helpful.

My problem is that I have lupus, and it tends to flare up under stress, physical or mental. In the past I've committed to things (jobs, mentoring children, going on trips) only to find myself in the hospital and unable to see my obligations through.

It does make one gun shy, doesn't it?

The rule I've made for myself is that I try not to disappoint children. I don't make commitments to them that I may not be able to keep. Rather than be a sucky Big Sister, I'll let some other lady do a better job at it.

Disappointing myself, now, that's different. I have nothing to lose there. If I don't go for it, I won't even have the chance of disappointing myself.

Your situation is somewhere in the middle. You're not going to ruin a little child's Christmas if you flake out in the middle of the ocean. You may piss your employers and fellow band members off (probably the people attending the cruises won't even notice) but no one is going to die if you flake out. The worst that can possibly happen is that you'll be stuck in a situation you can't stand until you make it to the next port and get on a flight home, and then you have to argue with some lawyers. They can't actually keep you prisoner on a ship for six months just because you signed a contract - you're joining a band, not the Navy.

Food for thought: if you're given to depression and anxiety, you're just as likely to be depressed and anxious at home as on a cruise ship. And on a cruise ship there are nearly-naked people who are sometimes also drunk and good-looking, plus sometimes you see dolphins, or flying fish. You might as well be depressed there as anywhere!