Not for it to tell you what to do. But it's a useful divinatory tool to get you thinking in archetypal terms.

I like Cary's suggestion of closing your eyes and writing down your impressions every morning and night, as well as the advice to picture what you were doing at times when you felt particularly happy.

LW, have you ever tried meditation? I'm wondering if it might help you let go of your tendency to over-analyze enough to catch a glimpse of what you want, as opposed to what you think.

Also, here's another thing you could try: for a given decision you're considering, tell yourself you're going to flip a coin and let that decide for you. Then flip the coin and try to pay attention to how you feel about the result. Does your stomach sink? Does your heart beat a little faster? I'm not suggesting that you treat the coin's "decision" as binding, but it might help you get a better sense of how you feel about your different options.

Whatever choice you make may be wrong. Even if you find and choose your perfect heart's desire, you may fail. This is not in accord with the American Myth. We grow up learning that our perfect desire will make us happy plus maybe rich, but that is baloney.

My advice: Do anything. Keep busy. After decades of keeping busy, you will see that you have done better than people who lolly-gagged, and hoped for some vision, and never really got going.

And ignore the people who luck out. These lucky folks get rich, and get interviewed on NPR, and they believe following their dreams led them to rich heaven-on-earth, even though they try to talk humble. But they are just lucky. To follow them is a major mistake, because they are naive.

Just keep busy, and you may luck out. If not, at least you kept busy. Then you die.

You know, I think it's your intuition that drove you to write this letter. I love that you didn't ask Cary for advice on your particular dilemmas. You recognize that what you need isn't better logic or specific answers. What you need is to get out of your own way, and to get better, over time, at doing that on a regular basis. You need ways to access your own wisdom.

Here are some things that work for me:

* Painting. Free-form, process-oriented painting. Not trying to create something in particular, but seeing what images and shapes come and just going with that, seeing where it leads. There are workshops and books about this, if that appeals. Or just start by trying it on your own.

* Yoga. Or any physical discipline, especially the ones with an Eastern flavor... If you're an over-thinker, a vigorous, hot, sweaty style like power yoga might help to get you out of your head. If you tend to be stressy, a calmer, more meditative style like Sivananda or Kripalu yoga might work well for you. Classes are good, but there's nothing like having your own practice.

* Time away. A few days in a completely different environment can work wonders. A bed and breakfast by the sea. A cabin in the mountains. A monastery. Whatever. Take a journal and write every day. Go for walks. Let your mind wander free, don't consciously search for answers. Do the things Cary is suggesting.

I also want to mention one of my favorite quotes: "If you can't get peaceful about a decision, it's not time to make it yet." This isn't always possible. But if you can take the time to wait until you get peaceful about your decision, do.

Best of luck to you. I'm sure you are on your way already.

Sometimes you can only find your intuition when you observe yourself.

Read this, for example:

"...we were a staunchly agnostic family and my parents taught me to value reason and logic above all. Faith and feeling were not a large part of any family dialogue..."

I wouldn't imagine that one of your parents could possibly have written this, let alone ever thought it. You are likely a different type of person; you are probably more enlightened than they.

You don't care as much about minutia and argument as your parents. You seem to care more about substantive, intangible things.

The reason you are probably so hesitant to listen to your intuition is that it conflicts with the values with which you were raised.

I know what you mean when you say:

"Faith and feeling were not a large part of any family dialogue..."

Even though your parents may have been loving and likely gave you all the material things you could want, you were impoverished on some level.

It doesn't mean you had bad parents. Like all parents, they couldn't give you everything you needed.

Watch what you gravitate toward. When I had doubts about my current relationship, I looked around at my house. My beloved's photo was in a spot where I could see it each day, and I loved to look at it. All the silly gifts and postcards he'd sent me over the years were also displayed. I never once wanted to remove these items. I studied how I felt in his presence, and I watched how much time I wanted to spend with him.

Get in touch with your intution by observing yourself, what you do, what you enjoy, and your surroundings. These things may look nothing like what your family enjoys or surrounds itself with. My intuition tells me that you feel it's disloyal to your family for you to go your own way. I sense that by having read what you wrote.

Beautifully done, y'all. I'm going to be thinking about this one for a minute.

And cd4928 is probably going to get pilloried for this comment:

Try Astrology. Not for it to tell you what to do. But it's a useful divinatory tool to get you thinking in archetypal terms.

But it's actually rather wise. Astrology is ridiculous, but archetypes are very very useful tools. There are a lot of ways to become familiar with them; reading Joseph Campbell, consulting the I Ching, playing with tarot cards, etc. For this purpose I study Haitian Vodou, which I realize is not for everyone. But no matter how you approach it, learning about the iconic repeating images that typify human thought does make the Big Picture a lot clearer.