Cary, you have done a fine job of analyzing the spaciness (assuming LW does indeed have glasses), but how about the general ennui? LW seems to feel adrift/undisciplined...its not just losing his wallet. LW, you seem to have an artistic and sensitive personality....and you feel the pain. Wish I had some words of advice or comfort, I would just say go easy on yourself. If you exercise some of the time, if you practice music some of the time, if you read your journals some of the time, that is enough. We all have to remind ourselves that we are enough, and that we are fine just the way we are. When we get this, truly get this, we are way ahead of the game. Good Luck!

sounds like ADD to me--the kind without the H, which is daydreamier and often comes with sporadic hyperfocus. in my experience--i've been losing things and drifting off since i was a kid-- Adderall helps. but be aware that learning--or being medicated to--be able to focus on things like where you put your wallet and what the boring fellow at the meeting is talking about--may keep you from noticing some of the "irrelevant" things that later turn out to be relevant after all, the noticing of which may be crucial to creative problem-solving--see the piece on insight and the brain in the new New Yorker.

I can say from first-hand experience that everything you (Cary) laid out about the process of losing one's accessories is all true, and the man-bag solution is definitely the perfect idea. I spent my entire adult life losing everything: my keys, my wallet, my sunglasses, my retainers in middle school ($75 for each one I absentmindedly tossed into the trash compactor in the cafeteria!), and of course finally, my sanity. Then a friend got me a great messenger bag for Christmas (it's the one Jack Bauer supposedly uses, so it's an extra manly man-bag) a year and a half ago and since then I always know where everything is. I realized that as Cary pointed out, as a man you put everything in your pockets, and then when you get home from work, you want to sit comfortably and so you pull everything out of your pockets and lay them nilly-willy wherever they may go. But with a man-bag, you put them there, you carry them there at all times, and then when you get home you just take the bag off. Of course there will be the few times when you don't want to bring the bag with you (they're not always appropriate on things like... dates to the opera, for instance) and you will pull the wallet and the keys and the sunglasses and (maybe) the retainer out and carry them with you, but then when you get home again, you have a place to put them all when you empty your pockets!

Right now there are people who don't understand the absent-minded mind who are shaking their heads wondering why this seems like such a striking idea, but then again they're probably not used to contemplating the origins of the universe or keeping 7/9 time while performing everyday tasks.

I'm not an engineer, but all of the other facts apply: misplace (or outright lose) my wallet, misplace the glasses, misplace my cell phone. Making a list does not help; I misplace the list. A PDA would not help; I'd almost certainly lose it, if I could figure out how it worked; I'm barely functional with the cell phone.

I've wondered about whether I have ADD - I'm more than 20 years older than LW - and sleep, or lack thereof, is definitely a factor.

One of the things that helps me is the backpack. Put the wallet in there. Of course, sometimes I carry something from work to home then forget and carry it back to work.

The other thing that works is putting EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO on my Microsoft Outlook calendar at work as soon as I think of it and have it pop up at least 30 minutes before the event. Make plans at 9 am for lunch at 1 pm? Put in a reminder. Pick up the daughter, which my wife usually does? Need the reminder. Stop at the drug store on the way home? Reminder, plus a rubber band around my wrist. Oh, and it works for birthdays and other things worth recalling, though you'll need more than a 30-minute warning.

Still, I think the most important thing LW needs is the assurance that he is hardly alone.

It sounds like your job is boring and isn't the sort of work you enjoy--you like design more than actual coding, and most programmers do a lot of coding, unless they are in academia (and even they do some).

I'm married to a programmer, worked in IT myself, and (until I changed professions) about 90% of my friends (even those from high school who weren't into computers then) were programmers. A lot of them have similar space-out issues that you do; my husband has almost no grasp on the passage of time, even when he isn't coding. It isn't because he lacks "common sense." It's because he tends to get wrapped up in other things. Lots of people I know are also prone to this type of thing, too, and find ways to keep it from being a liability because they don't want it to be a liability.

The solution that works for my husband is a reliable calendar program that gives him reminders of things, even things that happen on a very regular schedule (like when we can water the yard or which weekend I am working). He also writes things down that need to be remembered (everything from a design idea to his mom's birthday to a reminder to pick up cat food that day), makes notes after meetings of important points, puts dates for follow up or deadlines in the calendar when it's fresh in his mind. Other friends find other systems of reminders and/or lists work well for them, such as dayplanners. Almost all of them make a point of leaving their wallet or keys or glasses in the same place every time so they know where to look.

The point is to realize what you have trouble with and find a way to fix it. It sounds like a lot of work, but where you leave your car keys every day (same corner of the desk at work; same corner of the table at home) isn't a huge decision. It doesn't make you less eccentric or creative; it frees up your mind from all the minor annoyances of the day (like where are my car keys?) so you don't have to think about it too much.

If you wanted to do that, you could. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe you like being the eccentric, absent-minded, unreliable guy. And that's fine. But it is your choice.