There will be other opportunities; clearly this one does not speak to you. As a life coach, I am trained to watch out for the word or feeling "should," as in, I should take promotion because I should want to move up in my company. Not necessarily, if your life is groovy as it is. Not everyone WANTS to go for the brass ring, at least not when it involves leaves behind all that seems right to you. Now you might want to evaluate whether you love your job and are in the right field, but you can do that without moving to California for what does not seem to be your dream job opportunity. Stay where you are, explore what you really want in your heart of hearts, and take a risk when you are doing so for something that feels right, but possibly still scary, to you.

I rarely read Carey's advice.. I usually just skip to the letters, but since I'm the first poster this time, I skimmed his advice before posting. My advice before checking his was: don't go, don't go, don't go. Just don't go. I'm a native California who currently lives in Atlanta, but that has nothing to do with my advice. It's just all wrong for you to move for so many reasons, period. Stay put.

Don't go. It's not an opportunity if you can't embrace it wholeheartedly. Don't go. Stay and see what adventures await you in the wonderful place that you are. I bet there's tons of undiscovered territory. Wait for the right opportunity. Not just the first one. Don't go.

LW, never underestimate the power of roots. I'm living close to my parents for the first time in my post-college life, and I have to say that I love it, and that the experience has been far better than I ever expected. Stay close to your family and to your community of friends. It's hard to build a new life somewhere expensive and competitive under any circumstances, but it is especially difficult when you have solid roots elsewhere. Your letter indicates that you feel the bond of your roots, so be true to those roots.

Jobs come and go, especially in a poor economy. When healthy, loving family and community are irreplaceable.

If you don't like California, don't go. Things are edgier along the coasts, and this is great for some people but not for all. It will take you years to recover your current lifestyle, and you will probably never own as nice a house again. Does the raise even match the increase in the cost of living? Do the math on the mortgage of a comparable home, (or rent payments), gas costs, commute time, price of a drink at bar, etc. You might not even come out ahead economically, not to mention the loss of friendships and your social support network.

If you are lucky enough to like where you are now, and to have a decent job there, politely tell your boss, "thanks, but no thanks." Or, ask for a trial period- 3 months, say, with the promise that they'll give you back your old position if you don't like the new one.

Don't do it. And I'm not just saying that because I DO live in California, and think there are enough people here already. ;)

1) If you'd been out here once, and thought you didn't like it, I'd say visit first, and give it another chance. But if you've already been here multiple times and think it's not for you--then it's not! (You can also like a place, but not want to live there.)

2) If you make the move and it doesn't work out, then where are you? You're away from your network, your family, friends, and former colleagues who can help you get another job. If you stay put and something goes awry, you still have all those things.

3) Yes, property, rented or bought, is obscenely expensive out here. If the salary being offered won't make up the difference, the job is NOT WORTH IT. You also mentioned needing to sell your expensive furniture to move--if they aren't even covering relo--it's DEFINITELY NOT WORTH IT!

4) Thinking, "Well, I SHOULD be excited about this," means that your gut is telling you not to do it, but that your brain is trying to rationalize. "Should" isn't what matters. What you actually feel matters.

Your letter reads as if you have lived in the same place your whole life. I will assume you have not moved before.

I have moved from city to city twelve times. Eleven of those moves were bad. The only good one was when I moved to New York City after college. (But then, foolishly, I moved again.)

The first move, when I was a kid was awful, and the second, also as a kid, was awfuller. As a grownup, each move has been a leap off a cliff, and now, over fifty, I face another. I am good at moving, but weary and soul-sick. I know where I want to live, but that's not where I am heading.

You have a pretty good job, though, and your bosses like you. How the heck will you stay home, and still get by? You are twenty or thirty years from retirement. There is one good thing about moving, a thing Carey did not cover very well: When you move, you get rid of your junk.

My last move, after eight years in one place, longest I ever have lived in one place, we gave away, sold, and threw out boxcars-full and dumpster-loads of junk.

Can you not move, and still travel? If so, do not move. But make a big project to dump your junk. Good luck!

I'm sitting here, at my desk at home, with my arms caked in baking soda. Why? Because I have a really, really bad case of poison ivy. I gave up a really well paying, but miserable job to follow my dream of owning my own organic gardening business and I love it even more than I ever thought, in spite of the poison ivy. No job is worth giving up what you already have. So many people would give anything to have what you have (minus the request to move) Hopefully your boss will respect your decision (assuming you decline the move) and if he/she doesn't and/or isn't able to understand your decision, they don't deserve someone like yourself. It sounds as though you have a great quality of life, as do your dogs, and in the end that's what's important.