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• Wednesday, July 9, 2008 05:59 AM

  Some people are forgetting some key points about how some women operate

  One thing every woman should remember is to beware of these kinds of false compliments. They are poison.

  Adult women who say rude and personal things KNOW full well they are being inappropriate—and they make a choice to do it anyway. This is not some kind of misinterpreted faux pas or unintended social gaffe. It is a strategy whereby some women try to make themselves feel superior to other women.

  Make no mistake, a woman who sneers at at another woman saying "You're so skinny" is NOT being "complimentary in her own way."

  And a woman who says stuff like "I'm CONCERNED about you being so skinny—I think you must therefore be: anorexic, unable to have children, using drugs, being abused, etc., (These are all things that have been said to me) is not "concerned" or "caring" or "being nice." She is just putting you down in a way that makes herself seem above criticism.

  We all know the kind of woman who likes to put on the "concerned face" while (gleefully) saying things like "Ooooh, you look so TIRED" and then wail "I'm only trying to help!" when you tell her that you have no intention of giving her the information she is fishing for.

  It is profoundly embarrassing for anyone to listen to any kind of blunt comment about their own body, regardless of one's size, colour, health, athletic ability, attractiveness, etc. Just try it for a few minutes and see how much you can stand. No one likes it, even if the comments are supposedly "positive." Women who make these comments KNOW they are embarrassing the other person and they do it BECAUSE it makes the other person uncomfortable.

  In other words, rude comments are NOT simply some roundabout female way of saying "You look great!"

  This is the same old behavior that worked to some extent when they were 14, and they think they can still get away with it as adults. And they can, until other women start calling them on it and letting them know that it is not acceptable.

  Yes, we all want to rise above petty grievances, but some women apparently still need to learn that childish behaviors and attitudes don't work with in the adult world.

  —SVS-NS Read SVS-NS's other letters
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