Letters to the Editor
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You have to ask
First, the friends might be facing responsibilities or burdens you don't know about.
Second, it's common courtesy to discuss it.
Remember, you don't expect to die. So the likelihood your friends will be called on to raise your kids is low.
My husband was asked if he would be the executor of an estate. He said no. He didn't live in either the country of the legator or the legatee and he was facing a stressful personal situation. He got named executor anyway. He put in a lot of time and effort, but the legatee would have been much better off if the legator's lawyer had been the executor.
This is a serious thing and make it clear, NO is an okay answer.