Christian bisexual

Black KKK

Jewish Nazi

Republican thinker

Pick ONE from each line.

You can't be both.

It looks like there's some credentials being thrown about and those same credentials being questioned by others. Labels, titles and origins are being used - possibly misused with respect to the letter writer with whom we all share an opinion.

Having worked in the Mental Health field for 5 years (full disclosure: I am NOT a clinician) I can say that based on my experience, bisexuals do exist, though they seem to be few in number. Again, based on what I have seen in several of the 7 adult and youth county clinics that I have worked in. But it isn't the number that should concern people, rather it is that often, when youth or adults seek therapeutic behavioral services or specialty mental health, the consumer is often on a broader continuum of the GLBTQ community as a whole. If that consumer is on a path of acknowledgement towards their feelings about the same or opposite sex, then it is possible that they are in what is called: questioning. Remember there are differences between identity, expression, orientation and preference. Then again, there are those who have confirmed or affirmed their feelings and will identify as bisexual - having resolved sexual preference as well as orientation.

The writer seems to suggest - in as much as he could in his letter - that he is no longer has a question about his sexual orientation as he has admitted to being a bisexual. However, whereas the literature suggests that sexual orientation is not a matter of choice for an individual, sexual preference implies that sexual attraction, including same-sex attraction, is generally a matter of conscious choice or mere preference. There are conflicting theories on each of these. I think the writer is struggling with preference.

Last couple of things: as culture generally plays a huge role in the GLBTQ community, I do not remember if this person identified as white or other. However, there is also a phrase called "Down Low" or DL that is a term used by some bisexual men of color that describes a cultural phenomenon of men who have sex with other men without informing their female partners. From his letter he would not be on the DL since he has not acknowledged sexual contact with another man, though he has sought it out.

Finally, another poster used the term queer as a personal identifier. The word queer is often viewed as a political statement as well as an identiy or label. Some of those who use the term feel it is more inclusive, allowing for the diversity of race, class, ability and gender that is represented by the GLBTQ community. However, many GLBTQ individuals do not like this word and can view it as a pejorative.

Just my two cents.

Without weighing in on the whole gay vs. bisexual issue, I have to take issue with the following statement:

"The LW is obviously not gay, because he has been able to impregnate his wife more than once in the nomal way, I assume, which means getting his dick hard and putting it inside her, an activity that is strongly suggestive of heterosexuality."

Of the gay and bisexual men I've met in my life, I can't tell you whether they're truly gay or bisexual, or where they might fall on the Kinsey scale. But I can tell you that I know many, many, many, many men who identify exclusively as gay but who have fathered children, by women, using all the conventional methods of doing so. So let's not use that as a barometer for much of anything. As many of the posters here would seem to agree, human sexuality is an inordinately complicated phenomenon and anyone who claims to understand it is, as StCheryl's posts seem to indicate, either a liar or a quack.

for helping me out understanding terminology.

i think i, also, was taken aback by the term "queer" because it does seem advanced, as you say, in terms of self-actualization.

oh, and i do hope i never hear myself referred to as "heteronormative." yeesh, makes a gal want to switch it up.

Wow, did you ever get owned. And to think you wrote not just one but *several* letters embellishing your story about your "practice". Oh...My...God you suck.

I think the more likely truth (the truth you also know, but for some reason loathe to admit) is that most (or all) shrinks in the business have seen their share of bona fide bisexual men. Moreover, a quick glance at the literature by any layman will reveal a wide acceptance of the idea of male bisexuality by the psychological community.

So what's your story? My guess is that you are a gay man who hates bisexuals. Just like the homosexual bi-bigot from Northwestern who did the "study" that is the subject of the NYT article. Nobody hates a bisexual like a gay man. I understand why, but come on, deal with it.

Wow, StCheryl! You accumulated "20 years of practice in a large urban center" in the past year and a half. Kudos!

That post was nearly a year and a half ago. A lot can happen in that time.

One of my sons used to like to say, in an ironic tone, "Liars go to hell." Seem appropriate for this discussion, and your comments.

Here is the clip, unaltered, with the exception of bolding for the most pertinent comments, from your letter of Dec 2006:

I'm a lawyer with a full-time job, a husband and a child. Last time I checked, I was not a health care provider or worker. However, in the last several years, my elderly parents and parents-in-law have been in the hospital numerous times for serious accidents, unexplained pain and disabilities, chronic illness and health declines leading to death. I have helped them reorganize their finances and their lives to accommodate their changed circumstances.

So, which is it? Are you lying, or did you somehow get an advanced degree, along with a long practice, in the 1 year and 5 months since you wrote this? Because I'm sure that you would acknowledge that mental health professionals are considered health care providers.

I really don't give a good damn whether the LW is a bisexual or gay, whether he trends toward the straight or the gay end of the Kinsey scale, or what anybody here, myself included, believes about his sexuality. He has already decided that he is bi. His problem is, currently, how to remain a responsible adult, husband, father, within the boundaries of the social and sexual issues that surround him. You, and anyone else TELLING him that he is or is not gay is pretty fucking arrogant. For you, it's wrapped up in a particularly nasty lie.