Letters to the Editor
-
By all means, LW, tell a doctor you are hearing voices
If you want to ruin your life, do that. It will make the problems you have now seem so much smaller in comparison.
Holy god, Cary: "You could present yourself to a community mental health clinic and tell the people there you're hearing voices. When they say, Are the voices directing you to harm yourself or others? you could say yes."
Perhaps Cary was joking. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. In any case, LW, do not let a professional hang a psychosis diagnosis on you, okay? Oh! Not to mention where else this piece of advice will get you, which is a hospital for two or three days. Fun like in the movies? Hardly.
I have seen it as an outsider, and that's enough.
You had an actual letter seeking advice, I know. But I forgot it when I read the above.
-
"I have seen it as an outsider, and that's enough."
Well, I've seen it as an insider, and the person trying to keep me out was wrong.
The mental health system is the lesser of two evils, the greater being the criminal justice system.
Certainly there is stigma attached to being an inpatient or even receiving therapy...but life is long. The LW is only 28...will it be better when she's a violent alcoholic at 48?
-
don't do the voices thing
Holy God, Cary, didn't you follow the expose about the reporters who actually did that? Presented themselves claiming to hear voices, no other symptoms, and ended up years later having been permanently damaged by meds and shock therapy, having to be rescued by police intervention because their families couldn't get them out?
-
Dear LW you are an awful person
No one thinks you're artistic or witty or charming. You are not Holly Golightly. You are an offensive overbearing asshole drunk. And if you're lucky someone won't punch your lights out next time. Or maybe you need to be slapped real hard in the face. Because so far everyone's pussyfooting around you. So you must be a real fucking ogre on top of everything else, browbeating everyone and generally being a tyrannical narcissist bitch. So you can either take stock of yourself and take steps to change, which is doubtful because people don't change, or, you can plan on living alone with cats after everyone's sick of your shit and bails.
-
Brava
Congratulations. I know what it's like to have a lot of things happen on your way to that diploma. You should be very proud.
I will admit, I'm usually turned off by writing that is too self-consciously artful and posed and clever. It gets on my nerves, like the girl in fourth grade who would do backflips across the gymnasium -- a few well-executed moves would suffice, but by backflip number eleven it's clear they're expecting applause, and you don't want to give it to them.
Anyway, I liked your letter regardless. Less for its panache and verve, more for the brief flashes of guts and heart in between.
But: you don't show any flashes of awareness on the part that matters. You are a mother. And you are a person who loses control and lashes out drunkenly "now and then." I don't think you can't afford to have semi-regular binges and be a mother. I'm pretty sure your son can't afford it.
Maybe your sister can afford to be whacked with a purse once in awhile, but you seem to think this is funny; you seem to think that it is somehow different when an artist drinks too much and loses her sh-t than when it's the girl who works the Macy's cosmetics counter. Nope. They are the same. If you need money to facilitate various things, try working at a bar for a little while. I don't say that to be judgmental, but because watching the video replay (so to speak) can be helpful...
Good luck. Maybe someone up here has the answers and will post them. I don't know; I'm in a weird place half the time myself. But occasionally I think it might have something to do with accepting that you're the one behind the wheel, and no one else is gonna show up and offer to steer this sucker for you.
-
Keep drinking, and you won't be a mother
Your husband might beat you to the punch and divorce you, asking for primary custody - since you are a drunk, that gets abusive.
Its simple - don't drink, don't screw around, don't do anything that will look bad at divorce court. Spend less time screwing around and find the job you need to be a person not a parasite.
Get divorced in a civil fashion, with out dragging things through the mud, so your son can see and be with his father and you -- and not feel his world is falling apart.
You are having a bad time, your son will be having a worse time.
You can fix your issues, he can only depend on you to fix his. Get a grip and grow up - its not all about you, and your husband is not going to passively let you slowly work toward the ending you want, he may get tired of you and get to the end first.
-
I hate hearing from "Drunk-Aggressives" who bag on passive-aggressives...
So, you think you're better than your husband, your family, and your life? What proof do you have when you're depending on your husband to survive and you can't even get a job to support yourself?
The short answer: Power comes with proof! McDonald's is always hiring.
The long answer: If you want to be on your own, you can be. You're 28, not 18. The question is, will you get off your @ss and roll with the homez. 'Cause until you can get a job and actively stand on your own two feet, then you get to hear other people's mouths in your business.
You don't have to wait for the job of your dreams to get out. There are women with less education and more children than you have who are making "May I take your order?" work for them. Have you scraped the bottom of the barrel looking for work?
And BTW, you are too old for that drunk-aggression mess! That's some bratty, college hoe behavior and you need to grow up! You can't look down on everyone in your circle but be such a punk @ss that you have to get drunk to talk trash. You say that you're an artist, but I don't read you creating anything more than dependency. And now you're trying to add liquor to the equation?! Alcholism does not equal strength or independence. It just makes you look like more of a f&ckup.
The case could be made that you are projecting onto others your resentment for self because you can't be honest enough to admit that while you dislike living down to others' expectations you are even more afraid of being a self-sufficient adult.
I can totally empathize with anyone who is unhappy, feels stuck, and who lacks control over their life. The reason I don't sympathize with you is because you seem to blame everyone in your world for your unhappiness while being condescending about it.
What you need to do: 1. Put the dranks down. 2. Go do that computer employment test at Target or Walmart.