Letters to the Editor
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running down the street naked screaming pulling your hair out
Oy vey.
It is okay to feel this way,dear heart. Hold the hand of this feeling and walk through the fire.
You have the strength within yourself to do this.
I applaud your vulnerability and your honesty.
Appreciate your creation. Appreciate the creator.
Now is the time to detox.
Get away from anyone and anything that has been harming you on the inside as well as the outside.
Reinvest your passions.
Know whom you love and acknowledge who loves you. Learn to love yourself.
Acceptance is the key to everything.
Come into your skin.
Place your feet on the ground if you can find a place to land.
(I can not drive and weep at the same time. It is not safe.)
Look around you. Change your heart.
Recognize your place in space.
Credit yourself with a job well done.
Guilt and shame are just lies of the mind to distract you from your true purpose.
I am sending you an enormous ball of purple LOVE and compassion to boot.(This is technical on the subatomic level.)
Get outside of yourself and help another human being.
Make the world a better place and clean up your own environment.
LIFE IS WAY TOO BRIEF TO VIBE THIS MISERY, CHICKEROO.
WASTE NOT ANOTHER MOMENT IN TIME.
BE HERE NOW AND ACCEPT THE BLESSINGS SO FREELY GIVEN AROUND YOU.
Shut up and 'effing' dance 'as fast as your feet will go'.
KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED.
(And listen to Mr. Cary, baby. He is wise. A salve to mankind and greatly appreciated. It is NOT so bad that it could NOT be worse. At least you do not have a rag wrapped around your head with U.S. soldiers shooting at you for no justifiable reason.)
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Artist does not equal zero accountability
I'm still stuck on the sentence "I'm an artist." I don't think LW meant "I'm an artist when I drink"; I think she meant "I'm an artist, so how can I help my crrrraaazzaay behavior?". It's true, LW: You still have the immature notion that you are special and no one understands you. In fact, you're probably reading all of these letters and getting a little bitter because there seem to be a whole lot of people who understand you, and that means you can't ever again justifiably (in your mind) freak out on your sister and hit her in the head with your purse while drunk. Now you'll be forced to think: "Other people have been through the same shit and never hit their sisters over the head with a purse." Perhaps that's a good thing.
If you feel misunderstood and underappreciated, you can do one of two things (or hopefully both!):
1. Get over yourself, realize you have a kid who needs your attention and start focusing on the priorities that you have set up for yourself.
2. Talk to someone who you think might understand you, i.e. a friend, a psychologist, your husband. Is your husband so deaf that he wouldn't listen to you if you offered him an earnest plea for help? Select an evening, have a nice dinner, then sit outside with him on the patio after the kid's in bed and tell him you want to talk. Then let it spill. Tell him your frustrations, your desires, your issues. If he doesn't respond even marginally, you may want to reassess your marriage. But if he's a worthy spouse (and there's not too much in the letter to indicate that he's not - he's supporting you, for god's sake!), he should take what you say seriously and try to help you through it. Isn't that what a spouse is there for - emotional support?
I suspect you're not giving your husband enough credit and choosing to play the 'Woe is me' card instead of thinking about the positive steps you could actually be taking.
The main advice, from someone who persisted far too long in thinking she was too special for anyone else to possibly understand, is this: GET OVER YOURSELF. Being an artist or getting drunk sometimes doesn't give you any right to treat your family the way you have been. These people are gifts in your life, and you should treat them as such. So why don't you shock the hell out of them and be nice for once? You might just find that it's not as hard as you thought.
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Think about:
Using your new degree to get financially ok then maybe get a divorce. You can also push back on the other members of your family, except your kid I guess. Don't hang out with them more than you have to if they bother you.
Sounds like you've been married for a long time and you're only 28. Alot of people would feel trapped in this situation.