Letters to the Editor
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Whatever you do, don't send the letter
So you go to the wedding, smile, make chit chat, and bring a gift, or you don't go, send a gift, say you wish you could make it and forget about it. But don't send a long letter in lieu of a gift. Seriously. Basically, however nice you make it sound, it will be accepted as a "dear jane" letter, breaking off the friendship, because it is. I just got married, and if instead of a no RSVP and a small gift I got a no RSVP and a "let's not be friends because I just can't make the time, circumstances don't permit" letter, I would be pissed. The bride isn't stupid. She doesn't need you to break-up with her. Just send the rsvp card, don't show, and she'll figure out you just aren't that into her. So will your other friends. Because you aren't. You can't have them think that you care so much, when you clearly don't.