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I had what I described to friends as consensual sex with one of them (though I've rethought the "consensual" part, considering that after the moment of penetration, I knew I was doing something that I didn't want to do and I started crying and pushing and half-hearted hitting - I mean, did I really have the right to fight with all my might considering I had gone into the hotel room fully intending to smooch him? And I was really, really drunk. And thank goodness it was a suite and the others weren't watching.). In the end, when he indicated that I was to have sex with the others, I left as quickly as I could, feeling that I had been lucky to get out of there. I found my friends and fired up a joint right away. Then I made lots of really crude jokes about how I had scored some Russian ass. I can still find a little bit of anger in my heart for those girls; they left me in the room with those guys. If I had had a cell phone, I would have been calling or texting others trying to find out where my friends had gone. I had a boyfriend, too.
Cary is most likely right. Jan feels deeply ashamed for her contribution to whatever happened. She will for a long time. Tell her you wish that nothing had happened in the hotel room. Tell her you love her. Don't laugh when she makes jokes.
