Letters to the Editor
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I was there....
And I did exactly what you are doing, and now I DEEPLY regret it. I was at a great university, my parents were paying for everything, including my car, my cell phone, my food, basically everything. And what did I do? I graduated with the lowest possible GPA needed for graduation. LOL
And now, I have landed a job (which I can only call myself impossibly lucky for landing), and now living on my own and responsible for myself, I want to go higher. I'm now at a point where I want to achieve some things in life. I want to go back to school for my graduate degree. Unfortunately, with my GPA, I'll probably be laughed at. It's depressing, to say the least. It really sucks to think that I had everything, and completely blew it, while my friends took advantage of the same situation and are now in med school or grad school.
But honestly, there was something underneath my failing GPA. It was my own mistrust of myself, self-doubt, the fear of being a failure, of letting everyone down. For most people, these feelings would turn them into over-achievers. For me, it did the opposite. Sometimes it happens, that once you start down that slope, you keep falling and digging yourself deeper. Some people are like that.
So first of all, you're not the only one that's messed up a really good situation. Your parents may seem pushy and over-bearing now, but there will come a time when you will look back and ask yourself why you didn't make the best of a great thing. You will come to a point in life where you want to be the guy in a suit, "making something" of yourself, maybe go back to school, maybe start something, and you won't have the credentials. I'm not saying people without college degrees aren't happy. But most people do wish they had finished college, at some point in their lives.
Bottom line: Stick it out. Get your degree. It's only a year or two. You will NOT regret it.
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A BS is good for something
If you want to teach overseas, you typically need a bachelor's. At least, if you want to make a living wage. Maybe there are some shady or start-ups that don't require it but the biggies (NOVA, JET)do.
Just an FYI.
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Don't let yourself burn out
I eventually because one of those sad people the other respondents are referring to: in my mid-thirties, burned-out on years and years of school, then endless graduate school -- but ultimately back living with my parents, bankrupt and (I thought) with no marketable skills. Although my support came mostly from scholarships and grants, and from going very deeply in debt, it felt like a free ride, and it took me a long time to realize that I had postponed "growing up" up to the point of middle age. It took my thesis advisor, who said, incredulously, near the end, "You seem to think you're entitled to a PhD!" That was a splash of cold water...
If school is not going well (it doesn't sound like it is), by all means take time off and get a job, any job. But more important, throw yourself into that job with all the enthusiasm you can muster. I finally swallowed my bloated pride and did just that -- I found a sometimes boring, but often very engaging office job. I worked hard for two years, saved some money, and -- most important -- made a favorable impression on my employers and rediscovered my self-esteem. Whatever happens, I will always know I can count on strong, positive recommendations from my employers, which is more than I can say for my disappointed professors.
When I left the job, it was not because I was running away, but because I was ready to return to school -- a different school, and briefly -- to finish what I could not finish before. And if you return to school one, five or even ten years later, I guarantee you will find it a completely different experience.
If you're within one year of graduating, and can both get a job and finish your studies in good standing, then it may make sense to hang tough and get that degree. But don't ever, ever let yourself get burned out, hanging on until grim death, in academia. It only will make the inevitable break-up more bitter.
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You just don't sound like an irresponsible moocher
If you were an irresponsible moocher you'd be blaming your parents for not giving you enough, you'd be writing disdainfully about the shortcomings of your colleges and your professors, and you'd probably have some grandiose plan that would work if only someone would give you $80K interest free.
You've owned the dynamic that exists between you and your parents, and you say you enjoy hard work. Good. Go with that. You obviously need work and the self-esteem that goes with succeeding at something and getting feedback from an authority other than your folks.
I would echo the advice about finding a part-time job near your university. In fact, as long as you're affiliated with an academic institution, take advantage of everything that goes along with your tuition dollar, including career planning and any flavor of counseling they have to offer. If you really liked the people at the community college, see if they have any kind of counseling that would help you.
You need feedback from a source other than your parents. Yes, they love you, but they don't have perspective. And it sounds as if you have done a lot of introspection, but the insights aren't helping you. Career counseling at colleges and universities tends to be results-oriented (so you don't risk the analysis/paralysis that can happen in other forms of therapy) because your employment is a mark of their success as an institution.
A middle ground between accepting your situation as is and heading off into the sunset in rebellion might be to find an internship. Surely one of the schools you attended can help you find an internship in something that might interest you. You don't have to make a lifetime commitment, but you could experiment with working in a field as well as having that structure you enjoyed at the janitorial job. Living at home would give you the financial freedom to do an internship (they are often volunteer or poorly paid). As someone who has supervised interns, I can say that I'd love to see someone who was patient with doing grunt work and craved structure.
Many successful people get off to a rough start. Don't internalize the ne'er do well image. It doesn't have to be your future.