Letters to the Editor
-
Standard of Living
The longer you stay with your parents, harder it gets. Why? Because you grow very comfortable with a high standard of living you will not be able to provide for yourself.
Living in residence is a great transition between your parents place and living on your own.
Living with your parents, you have a nice new truck, good food, nice digs, cell phone, maybe a wide screen TV.
You're going to have to drastically lower your standards. This is why a lot of kids our age don't move out. Roommates, public transit, landline, no cable, divey apartments, part-time jobs, student loans.
What's the upside? COMPLETE AND TOTAL FREEDOM! At 21, I wouldn't trade that for the world.
-
Get A Job
I was like you, LW- pushed to go to college right out of high school, before I was ready. Did dismally. Several false starts. Decided to get some real-world work experience, returned to college at 31. CC honors program to University. (Community college in the USA, one of the last real bargains.) Graduated at 37. GPA about 1.25 points higher than the first time around.
From what you've said, my advice:
Finish up your school term and drop out. Find yourself some full-time work, somewhere. You're 21 years old- prime time to try out all sorts of options.
For instance: the commentor recommending that you teach "conversational English" overseas made a worthy suggestion. You don't need any degree or credential- just being fluent in English is enough. The students just want a native speaker around, to practice with, correct and instruct them. Japan, Korea, and China are the most well-known countries advertising for such positions, but your overseas options aren't limited to East Asian countries. Do some legwork, you'll be amazed.
For that matter, your overseas work options are by no means limited to English teaching positions. For instance, it's presently easy to get a 1-year work permit for New Zealand. Lots of service jobs and resort work. That can be both enriching, productive, and fun. Your co-workers will be party people. Just don't let yourself get sucked into the nightlife.
Speaking of service jobs and resort work- closer to home, casinos from Atlantic City to Lake Tahoe pretty much hire 21-year olds all the time, with zero requirement for work experience. Peak season is just now starting, with Memorial Day. They'll send you to school, and you'll be a blackjack dealer or croupier in 2 weeks- or you can do all sorts of other service work- janitor, carpet cleaner, kitchen, bartending...dealer or bartender is probably the highest-paid entry-level choice, but all casino jobs are relatively well-paid, compared to the general run of such employment. Plus, they'll probably feed you well. And apt. rent tends to be cheap in gambling towns. Repeat warning: don't let yourself get sucked into the nightlife. I recommend zero partying-total work focus for the first 3 months, in fact. 3 months ain't long. A year is better. It's good self-discipline. Be abstemious. Build your savings. You'll be all of, whoa, 23 when the time comes to break your fast- and, if you're frugal, several thousand dollars ahead. Maybe more. DON'T GAMBLE. You're probably too young to drive a cab in Nevada, I think you have to be 25. But following the same advice with that job, you can make a small fortune in about 4 years. And the money isn't the only thing that's easy. No problem finding a party, it will come to you. The problem will involve saying no to them, which will be necessary- unless you want to end up like Hank Chinaski, down the line.
You can also join Americorps, or the Peace Corps. Or find work in a national park or somewhere right outside it, or at a ski resort, or as a fitness coach in a 24-hour gym, or doing a 12-week intensive working in a cannery in Alaska, or what the hey, hiring on as a drugstore clerk in Des Moines...you're a free 21-year old American. Your vistas are limited only by your imagination. There are plenty of ideas I haven't mentioned.
I consider my life as a working dog invaluable, in terms of personal enrichment. I don't get the condescending pity and abhorrence for it, by all too many in the well-educated set. Use your wits and find your openings- and by the time you're 30, you could have 50 grand in the bank, instead of paying of 50 grand in student loans. (Caveat: as long as you're single. A spouse and children tighten the margin considerably.)
I also recommend this route for young artistic types. These days, it really helps to have a stick job, and some cash in the bank. That way you don't have to sell out, or jump at bad offers.
Finally, speaking as a patriotic army brat- given the current condition of the nation and the world, DO NOT JOIN THE MILITARY. Cultivate your own self-discipline, rather than having it imposed upon you. Use some of your earnings to take martial arts classes and target practice at a firing range, if you want skills in those arenas. Set your alarm clock for 4:30am, sit zazen and do calisthenics until sunrise. But don't go for the military recruiting okey-doke- especially not these days. Remember Gen. Smedley Butler.
-
College Isn't For Everyone
I had no business going to college, since I didn't want to be there. But I went, because my parents wanted me to. Over the next three years, I attended and dropped out of some very fine institutions of higher learning.
And then, I followed my wits, and opportunities arose, and I took advantage of them. I taught myself how to be a computer programmer, I made art, I lived. I don't have a degree, but I make a nice income and I have a nice apartment downtown in a mid-size city. Not having a degree is not a sentence to a life with no money. I'm proof.
Move out, be poor for a while. Live. Your parents will get over it.
-
Leda422
I live in a military town. I support my friends and neighbors who are in the military. At the same time, I would never tell a kid to go into the military now. The relationship between our military men and women and our government sucks right now, and I don't know when it will be fixed. We're not providing good services for vets, including health care and psychological care. We're failing them, badly.
The stress on military families right now is very high. I have a friend who is currently getting ready for his third deployment to Iraq. He's married and has a five year old. The sacrifices that his family is currently making is very, very high, even if he comes back whole and alive from deployment #3.
We're in a war. A new enlistee has to face the fact that he or she could die or be seriously injured in this war. 4000 or so of our military folks have died in Iraq, and many, many more have had very nasty wounds that involve losing body parts. The mission is nebulous and open-ended. Unless a young person feels a calling for the military, I don't think joining up is the greatest idea. A job with the possibility of maiming just doesn't seem like a good response to "I don't know what to do with my life."