Letters to the Editor
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@Cary -- Heehee...Go talk to Joan!
Cary wrote: These newscasters on TV are acting like high school kids. It's just been bugging me.
So's your boss lady, Cary! She's obsessed with ole Rev. Wright. For weeks now, she hasn't gone a single day without mentioning him or writing about him...
I keep hoping she'll write to you for some advice on how to get over her unhealthy fixation...
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Take Cary's Advice
If you start a business, you'll have something to show for having lived at home. And if your business fails, it doesn't matter.
Being a business major is also a good idea. People who care about money don't care if you live at home. Maybe you can make some business friends and we'll be hearing about your business years from now on "The Lightning Round" with Jim Cramer.
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Cary -- what's this thing about small business?
First, depending on your school, business might actually be HARD. Take a look at the entry level finance book and read a few pages. If you want to follow Cary's advice and finish college, then find the easiest major and take the easiest courses.
I think the structure of a job would be better then a small business where parents bought the truck, no rent to pay, no overhead, no payroll etc. It's just another version of the same thing.
Get a job at a big box store and work your way up a notch or two. Managing people, regardless of the status of the job, is an invaluable experience.
The kid WANTS demands made on him. That can be accomplished in virtually any job.
Meanwhile, I suppose that some of being an advice columnist is thinking about what you wish you had done. It isn't too late, Cary. You can do it without quitting your day job.
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LW, your country needs you
What you need to do is simple. Join the Army. Tomorrow. I don't care if you don't agree with the war.. I don't either. You still support the troops, right? The best way to do that is in their ranks. They need you. Sign up for two years. Just two. Got that? Two. You will spend about six months in basic and advanced individual training and one of those years in Iraq. Don't worry. Chances are it won't kill you. (Chances are really, really good it won't kill you if you pick the right job. Hint: pick combat service support not combat arms if you're not a gambling man.) That gets you out of the house tomorrow.. which is where you need to be.
Your parents are babying you, and they don't respect you and likely won't until you take a stand. (And frankly, you haven't done much to earn their respect yet anyway.) Anyways, if they had problems with you taking a job, I'm sure they are going to have HUGE problems with you joining the Army. Now, there are many ways to take a stand, why the Army? Well because after two very short years, and believe me, those years will be very short, you'll be in a great position to get back on track with school on your terms, paying your own way, saying look mom and dad, no hands. I got this. No stairwell dwellings for you. You will have money in the bank, equity built up by your service.
The GI Bill will get you your degree.. and if Webb's bill kicks in it will do even more for you. Meanwhile, tomorrow, you're a man. You have a paycheck which can support you and probably several thousand dollars in carrying around money for a signing a bonus, which, if I were you, I'd use to buy my own vehicle. I'd give dad back his truck and say thanks so much for all you've done.. I'll take it from here.
Don't bother shopping the services. The Army is the only one that's going to give you a two-year hitch option. Go for two. Don't do three, four, or god forbid five or six (which the better jobs will require). You're not trying to make this a career. Go for two. Twenty four short little months and you're back.
Most importantly, there's still a war going on. You're a 21-year-old able bodied man. Go do your part. It's disgusting that the only people being forced to risk life and limb are those who don't have a comfortably middle class mommy and daddy. Your country needs you, and you'll feel really good about the entire thing I guarantee.. just as soon as you get your honorable discharge papers. Oh, and don't sweat the Individual Ready Reserves after you're out. Just don't show up for muster if called. They don't track or penalize anyone for not showing up .. never have. Stop loss could get you, but that's already in the rear view.. it's not going to be an issue in 2010.
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Talkin bout my generation
I thought I wrote this letter! It is very close to my situation, yet alas, I am 27. I think Cary gives good advice here. Start earning money however you are able to, finish the degree. It is ABSOLUTELY okay to not know what career you want to pursue at the age of 21. I have a Master's degree and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! Unfortunately, I think this is the curse of our generation. Too many choices, uber-supportive, helicopter parents= feeling stifled at an early age. PS Do not compare yourself to your sibling, even if others may. You'll be alright.
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Actually the Army suggestion is not such a bad idea
Though somewhat more risky than it has been in the past.
I think the main problem is that right now academic study is not for you. It doesn't click, you want to get out in the world and your parents are actively blocking for you.
This is not a criticism - university etc is obsessively overrated in modern society when we have a critical shortage of tradesmen - plumbers, builders, electricians etc.
Move away from home - a long way preferably, try an apprenticeship, you could well find you enjoy working with your hands designing and creating something real. No need to sign up to be an office drone yet, which is where most higher education will take you.
Or just bum off, work some no low key jobs for a while. Maybe in a couple of years you'll find further education more appealing - in which case you'll do much better at it.