Letters to the Editor
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I think you need to really think about why you need your husband.
Is it because you feel virtuous in being a victim?
Is it because you feel guilty and obliged to protect him?
Is it because you feel you don't deserve to feel successful in your own right?
Is it because you enjoy feeling superior to and seeing through his antics?
Is the pattern just something you got used to in your family relationships?
Clearly he's insecure and has issues with his own worth and competitiveness. What he's doing is real and wrong. But he can't do it to you unless he hooks into some insecurity and competitiveness in you.
I'm not saying you deserve his behaviour . . .you absolutely don't . . . no one does. But why are you there?
What are you trying to get from him?
Get the family therapy like Cary said and ask yourself these questions. He can't do the tango unless you're dancing too.