Letters to the Editor
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I noticed that you didn't ask for advice, but explanantions
The first thing that leaps to mind is that hubby is very insecure. He's afraid of failure, that's why he sabotaged his business life. What if he really tried and turned out to be average?
Second, you're successful. You're probably not Bill Gates. You're probably average, but he sees you get recognition for your acheivements that he doesn't get (because he sabotaged them for fear of being 'average'.)
Now that you have a life and he's destroyed his own, he probably has come to be seen as 'Husband of -' instead of 'self' by most of your circle. So, now he has additional proof that he's inadequate on his own.
He's lost confidence in his own judgement, so your opinions, friends, ideas are his only source of worthwhile opinions, friends, ideas.
Further, as he takes over your plans, you look for something else. You're moving away from him. He clings tighter to keep you, turning a minor not-quite-enough-space problem into full-fledged suffocation.
And perhaps, he pursues your dream to prove to you that he's worthy. Maybe he does it to keep you with him instead of being caught up in something else.
So, that's my two cents on the psychology. What to do about it? I'm less than sanguine on the chances he'll reform. Since my theory is that his behaviors are caused by low self-confidence, it's possible that you could increase his confidence by praising him, which might reduce his negative behaviors.
I don't want to play blame the victim, but I mention this because if your response to him plays some role in your problems, then there's more hope for the relationship (which you seem to want to save) than if you are super-humanly tolerant and he is a vulture:
I suspect you harbor some resentment (you have every reason to), so that when he took over your dream (friends, ideas, opinons), you might not offer much positive feedback. Maybe you even make snippy little comments, digging away at his already inadequate self-esteem.
Anyway, I second Cary, you need a therapist, either to help you get away from this albatross or to help you change the dynamic in your marriage to something more positive.