Letters to the Editor
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Winter causes depression
LW, don't listen to jeebery_wonkers, who I will assume is a male, and probably white. Trust me, you didn't get there because of your female/minority status, but in spite of it. You are more than qualified to excel at the school and have every right to be there. Entitlement white boys can't stand the fact that they actually have to compete with more than themselves, and assuage their egos by thinking all non-whites are less qualified.
That said, that Ivy League school has to be in New England, which has 6 months of winter and 4 weeks of passably nice weather in July.
I suffered through 4 years in Boston, though not at such a young age. And it was one of the whitest places I had ever been (in terms of people), a SERIOUS culture shock if you come from Los Angeles.
I had NO history of depression, and had lived in a mid-Atlantic city before that, so I assumed I could deal with the bad weather, but as a native Los Angeles girl it got to be too much.
Thinking I was losing my mind, I related this to a friend who was from Boston, who casually remarked, "Oh EVERYBODY'S depressed in February. That's why we go to Florida."
Bingo! That realization put everything in perspective.
The weather really can make you depressed, and if just for a weekend you have to get out of there to go south to Virginia or further to remember the world is green. It doesn't even have to be warm, just away from the relentless gray.
Try like hell to make it through the school, because it does get better the second year, and you really need that totally different East Coast experience to broaden your mind. Perhaps you can withdraw from this semester, citing the depression as the reason, but go back.
The school is big, there are more students there than just the clique you are in. And if it's Harvard the surrounding area has dozens of colleges and universities full of people your age. You don't have to limit your world to the one campus.
I can't stress how important it is to make the contacts you have available to you, and you are only 6 hours from Europe. Take advantage of this opportunity.
I don't miss the place for a minute, and have only returned once, for work, but I must say the experience made me a hell of a lot emotionally stronger.
And do not underestimate the cachet that comes with an Ivy League degree.
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Harvard
As someone who lived in Boston for 15 years and worked at Harvard, I can unequivocally say that the Harvard/Cambridge world is one of the most unwelcoming, unfriendly, gray, soul-crushing, racist, depressing worlds I'ver ever lived in.
The most crushing depression I've ever had took place in the years I lived in the lonely, pretentious, gray Boston/Cambridge area. I'll never forget meeting a woman who told me that she *finally* started feeling comfortable in Boston after 14 years there.
For years, I suspected that my depression was due to the myriad of insults a person must live with each day in Boston, particularly Cambridge: rampant, subtle racism; overt elitism; soulessness; cold, gray weather; provincialism.
If you haven't lived in and breathed in this world, you have no idea what this letter writer is referring to. I struggled for years with a sense that Boston - the city, the feeling, its essence - was killing me. It wasn't until I left for *no other reason than I hated Boston,* that my inner life began to improve.
It pains me to think I stuck it out living in a place that caused me so much unhappiness because I was trying to persevere, stick it out, buck up. Sure, people will tell you: "you take yourself with you; it's not the location." But, LW, you and I both know they haven't lived in Boston. The final straw was when I poured out my hatred for that city to a well-known Boston area psychiatrist (originally from the midwest) who nodded and said: "I agree; this is an awful place." Follow your instincts, LW.
This young California girl does not need to stick it out in the ugly, crumbling grayness of the Northeastern U.S. She needs to get out and get back to what is familiar, because it will always beckon to her: family, friends, sunlight. Trust me: people all over the world who have NOT gone to Harvard live happy, full, successful lives. People in the publishing world of NYC who haven't gone to Harvard live happy, full, successful lives with a degree from anywhere or nowhere. Re-apply to the West coast school, leave Boston, and watch your life improve. Maybe you'll want to come back to the east and live in NYC someday. We both know that NYC is an open place of great possibility, while Boston is not. And the weather is much, much better...LW: I know you'll be a contented, creative, successful person with a degree from another school. This total stranger is giving you permission to follow your gut.
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@ jeereby bonkers
"whining is sooo much easier..."
From what I can tell, unleashing misplaced bitterness on people must also be "soooo" much easier than giving patient, compassionate advice (including respectful tough love) to people reaching out for help. Actually, I'm sure it is easier. Just ugly, hurtful, and useless as well.
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College Sucks
All the BS say about it being the best years of your life is just that, BS. It takes a while to get used to a new place, especially if you're a chill person not prone to crazy partying.
Dealing with the weather in... I'm assuming Boston?
Learn to ski. Wachusetts mountain (I'm sure you've seen commercials), while lame, is not too far away and a good place for beginners. When it snows in the city, go sledding on Lars Anderson Hill in Brookline, or cross country ski at the Weston Golf course where they rent skis. I bet you can find a friend or club to go with if you don't have a car. Go have hot chocolate at Burdick's.
As the weather gets warmer, check out Blue Hill, the Middlesex Fells, the Lincoln Woods, Crane Beach, Halibut Point, and Rockport. Get outside and enjoy the landscape for what it is... which is very different from California.
Get involved in extracurriculars, even if you don't devote enough energy to it to become the president of the club or whatever. Meet more people who share your interests and don't want to party.
Enjoy being in a city you can walk around in. You can't do that in LA.
Check out folks at MIT, they tend to be chill and cool. Don't limit yourself to the Yard, look at life beyond it. But do get involved at your school, too.