Letters to the Editor
-
Four Reasons to Consider Staying
Here are four reasons why I would consider staying put in the East Coast:
1. Losing your Social Network. You may feel miserable and disconnected, but you'd be surprised how many connections you have made in your first year that will blossom unexpectedly into friendships later on. If you stay put, you can cultivate these budding relationships. Moving will mean starting all over again.
2. Sense of Accomplishment. Things may feel impossible now, but they will improve as you get the hang of how to manage your work load, as you find new extracurricular activities, and do some of the things Cary suggested. Years from now, you will be able to look back on your first year with pride knowing that you overcame a difficult period.
3. Variety and Spice. Your home may have familiarity and comfort, but learning to adapt and thrive in new environments is a handy skill to develop. Try some activities that might be foreign to you - take up snowshoeing, sailing lessons on the Charles, go to a Sox game. In my experiences, good writers have lived diverse and challenging lives. If you return to California now, you will be missing out on some potential life changing experiences.
4. Depression Travels. Speaking from personal experience, depression is not an affliction that respects geographical boundaries or weather patterns. If you want to avoid the world, "its too hot outside" can be just as persuasive as "its too cold." If you leave now, hoping that a quick move will cure everything, you will be disappointed and perhaps even more frustrated than you are now.
Obviously, you shouldn't stay just because you feel obligated to do so because of pressure from parents or other family members. But don't trick yourself into thinking that moving is some sort of panacea. Good luck!
-
Practical advice from Cary?
Cary: Bravo! I wish someone had told me all of that stuff while I was in school. I pieced it together instead.
LW: If you NEED the sunshine, head on back to CA after you've finished your spring semester. If a New York publishing career is what you crave, though, think hard about putting your short-term comfort ahead of your long-term ambition. The publishing industry is going through hard times, and an East-Coast degree would probably give you an edge--and a chance at a really good internship so you can decide if that's what you really want to do. Here's something else to ponder: Is it any sunnier in NYC? Oh, and do you really need the high-powered publishing career in order to be the kind of writer you aspire to be?
Hold your head up high around the roommates. Yeah, it hurts now, but you'll feel better afterwards if you stay civil and gut it out. Stop apologizing, focus on your studies, and do what you need to do.
Regarding the papers: I'm not sure if your profs are as clearheaded about students going through rough times as mine were (at a small liberal arts college in the Midwest, then a big university in the South), but have you tried laying your cards on the table with the prof whose paper you haven't started? He may work with you to help you write the darn thing, or he may tell you to drop the course, but letting him in on what's happening could take some pressure off of you. If you don't think he'd be understanding, drop the course, and let it go.
Those who don't like letters about existential angst: This is Cary's speciality. If you don't care for it, there are plenty of "practical" advice columnists out there; Amy Dickinson and Carolyn Hax are both good. Go read them instead, instead of posting comments about why you can't believe Cary's doing as he likes, please. If you don't like it, don't read it!
-
It's not just the adolescent angst that grows stale
It's the fact that it's always about being a Real Writer, asking how you can do it without actually having to write stuff.
-
The Ivy League is all Ivy, no Brick
Speaking from experience (I'm at an Ivy for grad school), I can completely see where you're coming from. I'm also from CA, and never had any desire to move to the East Coast. The Ivies simply aren't all they're cracked up to be, and if you're miserable there then leave. Leave before you have too much invested in it and you feel like you have to finish there. Since you're only a freshman, this is the perfect time.
The East Coast is depressing and dreary, the people (especially those who strive to attend the Ivy League) are uptight and driven to near-insanity by their Protestant work ethic.
Just because it's the elite school, it doesn't mean it's the place for you. Having attended an Ivy, I came into contact with a lot of people who had been inducted into The Cult of H. They were incredibly brilliant and driven, but also wholly out of touch with reality and unable to relate to 99% of the country.
Surely there's another way you can get into publishing (are you sure you even want to be in NYC after your experience in the NE?). There are great schools in CA, and you will probably be a lot happier there.
-
This is why I was a science major
17 papers? Jesus. Don't get me wrong, science is generally harder, but its a math-based type of hard I can manage, and 17 papers isn't. Although, if your quarters are longer, like 15 weeks instead of the 10 I was under, in 3 classes, thats 3 to 4 a quarter per class which doesn't seem too extreme. Especially in a major that’s supposed to be boot camp for a publishing/writing career in which you’ll need to get used to writing high-quality, fully-researched and cited stuff effortlessly under time pressure. And sorry but you’re in a top ivy league school, it isn’t supposed to be manageably easy. Otherwise the degree you earn from it wouldn’t mean anything. A lot of people say oh its all the same in the end, but I would hope not. The degrees are supposed to reflect the caliber of student they churn out, hence a top ivy league school should be pushing you to your extremes. You'll be glad it does once you've earned that degree, and feel the name of the institution on it proves the kind of work you can do rather than being meaningless.