Letters to the Editor
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Not a silly question at all.
The letter writer is in good company when she poses this interesting moral dilemma. For those who think it is a ridiculous joke, read up on utilitarian ethics. The question here is, how does one choose an action that is ethically "good".
Positive utilitarians claim that the morally correct course maximizes Happiness. Applied to the baby-having case, you would choose to have the baby since any small moments of happiness your child might experience would be better than having no happiness whatsoever had she/he never been born.
Negative utilitarians claim that morally "good" actions minimize misery. This seems to be the reasoning used by the letter writer when she questions the morality of having a baby. The drawback to this approach is that, logically, worldwide painless euthanasia would be morally preferable to stubbing your toe. To get around this, moderate supporters posit that the desire to survive outweighs the wish to avoid suffering, ruling out painless death (equivalent to non-birth in this case) as an ethical choice.
So, logically, unless you believe in Strong Negative Utilitarianism and support worldwide painless euthanasia of all life forms, you should have the baby.
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What some LWs call neurosis...
...I would call thoughtfulness and intelligence. Why shouldn't people think really hard about the question of whether or not they should have children? Most people just assume that they (and others) ought to have kids, without ever thinking about what a big responsibility it is and whether or not they are really up to it. So asking philosophical questions about the nature of parenting and whether having a baby is a moral thing to do seems like a HUGE step up from just doing it cause you're bored, not sure what else to do with your life, etc. And these reasons have been given to me by many people as to why they are having a kid.
So LW, I applaud your questioning and think that your question implies that you will make a thoughtful parent--just what the world needs more of.
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One light, infinite shadows
For every person who does exist, there are an infinite number of nonexistent people who might have been.
By bringing somebody into the world, you offer them the choice to exist -- once you have brought them up to the level to which they can understand and appreciate the choice. If you are concerned about denying choice, worry about the never-to-be children you deny any choice at all, not the ones who now have an opportunity to choose thanks to you choosing to have them.
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You and your husband are both idiots!
If the question was, we live in an over populated world of dwindling resources and many unwanted children, what should we do? That would be a sensitive and understandable dilemma. I think folks sturggle with this question all the time. Should I bring a child into this world when many are hungry, homeless and otherwise needy.
However the question that the LW poses sounds like a comment from a 19 year old philosophy major trying to come across as deep and sensitive. Take the pseudo-intellectual garbage and do us all a favor, don't have kids. Don't adopt either.
Sorry to be so harsh, I am having a Simon Cowell day I guess.
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Actually -- babies choose their parents
There is an ancient belief that babies chose their parents and also have a hand in the life they want to lead, namely in the lessons and challenges they need to face and learn from in that forthcoming life.
So, just open yourself to the possibility of being the best parents you can possibly be and the rest will take care of itself.
We all get the life we deserve.
Everybody is right where they need to be right now.
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Re: Not a silly question at all.
I'm giving a star to Mr. Jones.
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The blame game
If your kids go blaming their problems on you for having ever birthed them, it doesn't make them right. Just set them straight on who's fault the problems really are. Yes, “life” is full of unfair suffering that we didn’t ask for. If they got teased mercilessly in school before they were old enough to know what to do about it, they need to just blame the asshole bullies, not their parents for setting them on the path to life in the first place. That is possibly the most outrageous stretch in playing the blame game that you could make. Teach them healthier perspectives on where faults and blame lie and you shouldn't have to worry about this. People who start blaming third parties for the problems in their life have issues, they're in the wrong.
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Overexamining your life may lead to your extinction
This is a classic case of over-examination that takes the joy out of the most beautiful things in life. Such people remind me of the couple in the beginning of Mike Judge's Idiocracy. You can
watch this 3 min clip from the movie and see if you agree with what Mike is trying to say
(Note: Strong language)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=upyewL0oaWA
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Ridiculous question
This convoluted question can’t have an answer because permission cannot be granted by someone who doesn’t exist. I’m not sure what the LW is all about – Is it self-conscious, philosophical intellectualizing? Fear? Lack of contact with reality? Or some other emotional/psychological twist?
There are good thoughtful questions people should ask themselves before having a child, such whether to bring a child into a brutal and over-crowded world. It’s important to ask yourself why you want a child and whether you are ready and capable of being a good parent. It’s difficult being a good parent no matter how committed to and loving of the child. Plus, we are not currently facing a shortage of humans.
In all of human history, the world has been a terrible place with cruelty and the possibility of random disaster and tragedy at every moment. And yet, it has beauty, both in nature and man-made. There is kindness, generosity and love that transcends the negatives of human nature.
I don’t think the LW is ready for parenthood by giving birth, adopting or fostering. Having a child is messy, uncertain with no guaranteed outcomes and is not for the faint of heart.