This is a joke, right?

What an endearingly stupid question. California? Question, if someone tried to throw you off a cliff would you resist? Probable answer, although not guaranteed from you dear LW, is yes. That is, people cling to life. They wouldn't cling to it so greatly if they didn't value it.

If your child didn't like life, you could apologise and assist with the child's suicide, or just kill the child as an act of contrition if the child requests return to non existence.

However I think it's probably better you don't procreate. Is your favourite book Catch 22?

Cary, loved your whimsy.

You are giving yourselves way too much credit and power here. To play devs adv with you, what if a soul wants to be born? What if you have valuable lessons to learn and to teach? What if it's the next Nobel Prize winner seeking to rent your womb? The what if's are going to keep coming and soon enough you'll be too old. There are some places in the world reproducing at an alarming rate and others who have dwindling numbers that are equally as alarming. Some people have chosen other ways of "creating" perhaps, but the judgement you lay down here isn't moving the conversation forward.

I highly recommend you slap on your Crocs and shlep over to an adopt a highway program and pickup trash by the side of the road instead of having a child to love.

But no one who should be having any kids. You're way too neurotic. No offense.

is that you are both insane, not to call names or be judgmental you understand, just trying to enlighten

If this is a real question (why not? what's so great about life anyway?), my guess is that the LW has at some point wished she'd never been born. But if she "desperately" wants a child, it sounds like a thirst for life has been regained. So consider, LW--has it been worth it? If you think so, chances are good your hypothetical kid would.

But...it's a little strange that this would be an actual reason not to have a kid. I wonder if there are other reasons you're having trouble looking at.

I think the Chinese government would gladly employ you as a travelling teacher of philosophy and family planning.

"the greatest good fortune is to have never been born- but who among us has been so lucky?"

This letter has got to be fake.

have been known to yell this at the parental unit(s):

"I didn't ASK to be born!"

No mature adult actually takes them seriously. It's technically true but really too ridiculous to address.

Good, very good!

Home birth or hospital? Foreskin or circumcision? Breast or bottle? Home-made or Gerber? Shots or not? Montessori or kindergarten?

If your first question stumps you so much, I imagine you'd be paralyzed by the rest.

Problem solved. The kid's existence is somebody else's fault.

These small mammal-ish creatures are all largely the same.

I liked the way Cary's answer focuses on logic in a lyrical way.

One thing I've learned about being a parent is that you do have to steel yourself against the guilt/shame/sadness that comes from seeing the lovely baby that depended completely on you go into the world and get all sullied. It happens. The idea of the perfect happy baby, toddler, child, teen, young adult is going to be shattered sooner or later.

Blaming yourself or your spouse or whomever won't relieve the guilt the way it can when something bad happens to yourself, because parents are supposed to protect their children. You really have to just accept that all you can do is your best and that the kid will have to play the hand he or she was dealt.

The letterwriter is already recognizing this stressful aspect of parenthood, which could be first step toward being able to cope with it.

If you are this paralyzed before the kid is even conceived, you'll end up catatonic over something like choosing a school.

I hear an enormous amount of fear. Let it go. Parents just do their best. We're none of us perfect. Besides, it's not that complicated. You'll figure it out as you go. Love them, respect them, teach them some values, require some chores, and enjoy who they turn out to be. That takes care of most of it.

A few years ago, I found out that I almost wasn't born. I'm adopted, and I discovered that my birthmother was a college student who could have gone to another state and had an abortion. For whatever reason, she didn't. (If I'd been in her shoes, I might well have made the other choice.)

It made me wonder. I know a lot of teenagers shout "I wish I'd never been born" at their parents, but it's kind of weird to realize that it was a realistic possibility. Life would have gone on without me - my parents would have adopted a different kid, and the world would be about the same. But I think being older gives you perspective - my life hasn't been bliss, but I can't say "I wish I'd never been born". (Of course, how would I know, if I hadn't been born... a paradox.)

There's always adoption, but I think as long as you care about your child and try to be a decent parent, you'll be ahead of a shocking number of parents, sadly enough. And I doubt your kid would seriously "wish I'd never been born", at least once he or she made it past the teen years.

How do you get out of bed in the morning?

Oh, Lawdy. You shouldn't have a kid. Life requires a modicum of hope and optimism and, well, gumption. "Joyful participation in the sorrows of the world," as someone -- a Buddhist, I think -- said. If you're this passive now, then that wouldn't bode well at all for the kid. Your despair seems to be a decision rather than a mood. A drag, y'know? Then again -- and I have witnessed this, it's fascinating -- a vital new soul could completely trump your milquetoast approach to life, could surprise you like a flower shooting up through concrete. You never know.