Letters to the Editor
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Rules of magic
There are a couple of things about magic that Cary doesn't cover:
- any magic Cursed is to perform, or has performed for her, must take a form that both she and her mother-in-law respect;
- it has to eventually be known to the mother-in-law, though not necessarily (or probably even preferably) via Cursed herself;
- it has to be unimpeachable, so that Cursed can subsequently encounter (not necessarily confront or even address) the mother in law with complete confidence.
The writer who wrote about a Greek Orthodox ritual seems to have the right idea, but anything that qualifies on all counts will do fine.
And if respect and confidence seem more important than metaphysics or spiritual hoohah here, there's a reason for that.
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Laughing
This made me laugh, because my family is a high-drama one like this. Poor kids. When my parents got divorced, my grandmother told my mother that she hoped that "God takes one of children to punish your for your sins." I was 11 and was like "Wait...what? You want God to kill me because my parents are crazy? WTF?" I loved my grandma, but she was a really evil old harpy.
Anyway, as other people here have said, since you believe you are cursed, you should do something so that you can believe that you are blessed/uncursed. Do Greek Orthodox churches bless houses? I grew up in the Roman Catholic church and they do house blessings all the time. The priest can do it, or a layperson can do it.
Here's an example: http://www.stcharleschurch.org/faith/prayer/houseblessing.htm
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Bette Midler approves
I put a spell on you
And now you are mine
You can't stop the things I do
I ain't lying
It's been 300 years
Right down to the day
Now the witch is back
And there's hell to pay
I put a spell on you
And now
You are mine
Hello Salem
My Names Winnie. Whats yours?
I put a spell on you
And now you're gone
Gone, gone, gone, so long!
My whammy fell on you
And it was strong
So strong, so strong, so strong!
Your wretched little lives have all been cursed
'Cause of all the witches working
I'm the worst!
I put a spell on you,
And now you're mine
Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, she ain't lyin'
If you don't believe
You'd better get superstitious
Ask my sisters!
She's vicious
I put a spell on you
A wicked spell
I put a spell on you
Sisters!
Ah-Say-Into-Pie
Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
Ah-Say-Into-Pie
Oppa-Maybe-Uppen-Die
In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
In-Kama-Koray-Ah-Ma
Hey, High, say bye-bye-iii-iii
Bye-bye
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@ aeschylus
Just thought we should give the rest of the world a chance to catch up. Oh, well, maybe in another 2,500 years…
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Seriously
I can't believe how many people are suggesting that the LW contact a priest to counteract the 'curse'. She needs to contact a good psychologist, because this is a bunch of whack-a-doo nonsense, and the only way she's going to overcome this mentally ill monster of a mother-in-law is by somehow learning to be self-confident and assertive. The 'curse' only works because the LW is silly enough to believe it will work, and calling in a priest to counteract it rather than rolling her eyes and getting on with her life is playing right into the mother-in-law's hands. This is what will happen next - LW will tell mother-in-law she's had the house blessed by a priest or whatever, and mother-in-law will come back with the super power curse, no take backsies, circle circle dot dot now I've got a cootie shot, and this superstitious nonsense will just never, ever end.
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Isn't the proof already there?
It seems to me that if your husband can defy his mother in something she absolutely forbids, then that should prove to yourselves and to her that she has no power over him. I would think the fact of your marriage would be proof enough. But if you need to renew your certainty, then perhaps he should highlight his hair.
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"American" stepgrandkid
Sorry to hear about the angst over a Greek curse. You definitely got short shrift on the mother-in-law front. I've known scads of "Americans", my mom included, who have become part of Greek-American families without the amount of venom that you've endured. Over thirty years ago, my folks married in a "small" wedding with 150 guests rather than the normal blow-out of 300+.
Personally, I'd go with the house-blessing idea. It wouldn't hurt to mention the "curse" to the priest as well. Many of them take a pretty dim view of hold-over pagan artifacts like curses, evil eyes, Easter bunnies and Christmas trees.
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Punch her in the face
I guarantee you that by knocking her out cold, you will remove the curse for good. She will never dare to lay another curse on you. This beats any other solutions prescribed here.
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@advocatus
Advocatus, regardless of your age, gender, or appearance, I have a big honking crush on you. That advice was priceless (really, you couldn't buy it with MasterCard, that's for damn sure) and when I have evil mother-in-law problems (no time soon, very happily divorced, thank you very much), I'm calling you.
I'm not sure LW and her Feckless (what's he been doing?) Husband are up for Advocatus's fine, fine approach. Maybe taking Amity's advice?
Definitely, LW needs to work on her cerebral cortex a bit (I'm not getting a big whiff of "seeing the whole picture") and get some de-doormatification. LW's Feckless Husband need's a full vertebral implant. I thought human males came with spine attached, but apparently this isn't always so.
LW: Why did you sign up for household chores for people who don't treat you well. Once you figure that out, and change that, you'll be uncursable.
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What I would do.
I would tell her that her soul is rotting and the stench is unbearable. I would say that everyone can smell her putrification and that she will soon smell it too. Then I would slip into her house in the middle of the night and throw a three pound package of hamburger behind her stove and stash a few fish fillets in the recesses of her couch. Then I would wait until she begged for forgiveness. About a week ought to do it.