Letters to the Editor
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What's it Doing For You?
LW is describing the current palliative use of pot as a device to cut anxiety down to size. Useful, decent intervention, but with the challenge that it is not, really, a decent long term intervention.
So, what happens when pot is eliminated? what lurks behind the absence of pot? Anxiety about one's self and one's competencies? Who knows? LW doesn't and the fear of discovery Keeps LW sucking weed.
I've never found that ceasing a habit or even an addiction without having an alternative does anything but white knuckle one into oblivion. So, I suggest that LW complete that thesis, and then seek a decent interventional therapist to be present, even an enlightened witness, to honor the complex emotions and beliefs that will emerge when pot ceases to be a solution.
I used booze, and when I stopped, without interventional 12-step programs, I discovered that "I needed help", got it, and did rather decently by myself, my wife and my stepson. And, I discovered that what lay behind my addictive behavior was far less scary, when I probed the material, than I might have assumed from the preventative smokescreen that alchohol was (and before that, working 90 hours a week......)
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You should be worried. I'd back off.
No matter what you read here today, I can tell you this. No real good will be served by your continuing use of pot at the level you are smoking it. It just won't happen. You are becoming isolated and housebound. Put the weed away for a period of time - five days maybe. Or maybe ten, I don't know but see what happens. If you can't handle this, and I am betting you can't, you need to investigate further and see exactly what's going on. I don't know a lot about 12 step programs or any of that. Maybe you don't need any damn program but you do need to take control of your life, with the pot or without it.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you (and a lot of stress too), so my advice is for you to try to get back in full control. Accept nothing less. And when you do, be careful not to substitute one addiction for another, you know like - one more drink won't hurt, I'm not smoking - may as well hit the casino tonight with all this dough I've saved not smoking etc. Sounds crazy, but I have seen that happen more times than I can count.
Good Luck to you!!
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You're doing fine, LW
Sounds like you're able to seperate work and play enough that it won't become a problem as long as you maintain that perspective.
I've been smoking pot several times a weeks since I was 16. Graduated for the university with honors. Have had the same good job now for 5 years, and I've been promoted steadily during that time. I view it the way most healthy people view alcohol. They will drink a beer or two after their working day to help them unwind. I load a bowl an hour or so before bed. Never at work. Never when I have responsibilities.
And just as drinking, it can be taken too far. As long as it's used in moderation and not when you have stuff to do, have at it. You aren't hurting anybody.
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Reduced employment opportunities
I'll echo what Timbuktom said earlier - many companies require pre-employment drug tests. If illegal drugs are found, you will not be hired. Don't assume that it only applies to low level employees, I know of a company that recently rescinded an offer for a C-level, $$$ position because the candidate failed the drug test.
Also, if you somehow manage to get employment, many states allow companies to request a drug test if your job performance is perceived to be impaired. They might put you in a rehab program, with lots of monitoring - a friend was able to do this through his company and they watched him like a hawk for any mistake. He did recover from his addiction and continued to work there for a number of years.
Many companies just fire you, then you're SOL.
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There are *legal* drugs for this anxiety problem of yours
Make yourself an appointment with a psychiatrist or even a decent internist and describe your anxiety problem. Chances are you will walk out with a prescription for Paxil or something similar--something that will not keep you housebound or cut off employment options for you in the future, is considerably cheaper than pot given the amounts you're smoking (assuming you have insurance), and is going to make you more functional by addressing this anxiety problem. Don't know if you've ever tried psychotropic meds before, but let me assure you, they don't erase your personality (in fact, I think there's a far greater risk of that if you continue with the pot). They also won't *eliminate* the problem of your anxiety or make it "go away" for a few hours of relief. They work very gradually--will take about 10 days before you notice any effects, if you even notice them--and all they really do is make those spikes of anxiety you may feel less, uh, spikey.
That, coupled with some yoga or meditation, something that teaches you breathing techniques, is probably all you need. But that assumes you're going to actually deal with whatever underlying emotional problems or anxieties you have. Psychotropic meds, unlike pot, are not a quick-fix form of instant relief or a means for you to temporarily forget your problems. Rather, they are a means of correcting whatever extremes you may have in your brain chemistry that send you over the moon, so that your problems are brought down to a more manageable size.
Good luck.
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LW: you're doing just fine, stop being all paranoid
Addiction? Hardly. While some people might find themselves slightly dependent on cannabis (in the same way some people are dependent on their morning Dr. Pepper) I don't think addiction even comes close to being the right word.
You sound like you're doing just fine. I was once like you. Doing well in life, on top of things, relaxed, had a good job, starting up a small business, had a good circle of friends, spent many nights a week out socializing, played the guitar frequently, had a child and a marriage (which eventually ended, but not because of my smoking) and on and on; all the while smoking at least twice a day. This went on for nearly a decade.
And then I got married to a woman who had a family from hell who quickly became our mortal enemies (not because we wanted it that way, but because they just couldn't NOT try and control our lives). So for reasons I won't go into, I quit smoking (cold-turkey with NO problems whatsoever) and haven't gone back since. I really, really, really wish I could, but things just aren't safe quite yet; when you have enemies, you must protect yourself from small chinks in your armor.
Cannabis isn't a problem for 99% of the people who smoke it; yes, even those who smoke 8 joints a day. It's in a class all its own and cannot be called a "drug" and have that word mean anything. Alcohol, cocaine, heroin, all of those are drugs which can all to easily cause lives to spin out of control. But cannabis smokers, as one writer already quoted, just "aren't out sucking dick for weed".
But one day I'll start smoking again, and I'll love every second of it just as I did for the decade I was a regular partaker. So enjoy it while you can, because some day you too might end up with enemies you never thought you'd have.