Letters to the Editor
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Quit while you are young
I am 56 years old and have known a "stoner" like you for 35 years. When I first knew him he had a circle of friends, but the socializing back then, especially when it was at the stoner's house, always revolved around drugs: lots of pot plus alcohol and occasional cocaine. The stoner was married when I knew him way back when and the wife stuck around despite all that she is NOT getting in the relationship so stoner is still married. "Stoner" was uninvolved in his children's lives, and really did not participate at all in his family life. The family all had THEIR shared lives while Stoner sat in the living room being stoned and laughing overly loudly at bad movies and bad t.v. "Stoner" took the earliest possible retirement and now sits home stoned all day every day. The wife has a job and interests of her own and maintains a life that does not much include "Stoner". Some friends are totally angered by Stoner's anti-social stance, while others maintain a relationship with Stoner's wife but the relationship with Stoner is merely a wave while passing by these days. When I do go over there he looks like a pathetic, empty shell of a person.
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Stoned at a funeral?
Cary, please tell your story about being stoned at a funeral. Some of us love black humor.
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Beware the arrested development
My perspective, based on decades of observations in my own life and that of friends, is that pot smoking suspends personal development. Smoke pot for a year, lose a year of personal growth. Smoke pot for a decade and you lose a decade of personal growth. Probably not entirely but I'd estimate at least a 90% drag. Some friends have been dopers for 30+ years and they haven't moved 30' either professionally, socially and personally.
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You can look at your future self
In the USA we have lots of people now in their 50s and 60s who have been smoking pot since high school (1960s). Find some of these people, and find out what you think about them.
Mostly nice folks, but few successful, few with any dough put aside. Nice and relaxed, though. Once they get to know you, they may show you their secret basement weed farms. They have little houses, pretty good guitars, old crummy cars... And they all seem to be estranged from their kids.
See if you want to be one of these people when you get to be 60. It would be better than being a 60-year-old prostitute, or a 60-year-old CIA Torture Specialist, but I do not believe they will impress you.
Better to get addicted to bowling or baking. Something like that will add energy rather than sapping energy.
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Repeat Yourself Much?
One thing, with stoners is that they repeat themselves. Stoners repeat themselves. Mostly, they repeat themselves because when you're stoned, studies show (google it yourself) you're not as able to turn your short term memories into long term memories.
So I guess you're high functioning... The thing is that this is your last year of college: don't you want to have some memories?
When I was a heavy pot smoker (dude, gravity bong) I couldn't remember where I'd put anything: my house-keys, my homework, my marbles.
Do yourself a favor and graduate the pot when you graduate college. Life is too good not to remember.
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If you think college is stressful . . .
I have no problem with people smoking, but what troubles me is your mindset that you are just doing it to get through a stressful time in your life. Sorry to break it to you, but your senior thesis might be one of the LEAST stressful - or significant - things in your entire life. Are you thinking of grad school? - much more stressful. The high-powered job afterwards - even more stressful. Dealing with ex-girlfriends is child's play. Try being diagnosed with a chronic illness or getting a divorce. It doesn't bother me that you use pot, but if you think that you just need it to get through this "very stressful" time in your life, then you're deluding yourself. It is highly likely that life will get only MORE stressful after this "stressful period" is over. So there will be ever more reasons to continue your habit. Whether you deal with all of these stresses by continuing to smoke is up to you. But since life in general can be just plain stressful, Cary's advice of diversifying your stress-management techniques might not be a bad idea.
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Wow, lucky you!
When I attended my overpopulated, understaffed, open-admissions and thankfully cheap college, myself and most of my fellow students were taking full course loads and working full-time. There were also those with children, many of whose welfare benefits were dependent upon their academic performance. Oh, and the students for whom English was a second language -- lots of them worked jobs, took classes, had kids, AND took extra TOEFL classes on top. We didn't have time to smoke pot, nor could we afford it. Not enough bang for the buck.
Any of us would have given our eyeteeth to be you and have this problem, LW. And if you're worried about it, it IS a problem; you're obviously stressing the wake-and-bake, rightly so, and it is an indication you're abusing herbal therapy. So go see the counselor, because becoming "more or less anti-social" means you aren't actually doing as well as you think. Lucky for you, you have a school counselor who will likely see you for "free" (i.e., part of the whopping tuition package for which you probably don't pay).
Sorry, envy rearing its ugly head -- being privileged enough to attend a college such as the one you describe is a blessing, and the stresses that go along with it pale in comparison to worrying about paying the rent and feeding your kids. Perhaps if you can put your anxieties into perspective you could relax and enjoy the gifts you've been given.
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Please don't stop blazing
And tell as many people as you can to smoke up. I have 2 kids in college and another in 18 months and it's a cold hard competitive world out there. Anything you can do to thin the herd would be appreciated. Thank you.