Letters to the Editor
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Re: smoke is bad for your lungs
If you're not ready to give it up yet (which it sounds like might want/need to someday soon)and want to reduce your risk of emphysema, COPD, etc. you might try using a cannabis vaporizer: http://www.scribd.com/doc/294969/Medical-Marijuana-Vaporizer-Study
But I agree with Cary - you need more tools in your toolkit to cope with your anxiety. Have you consulted with a mental health professional? I was anxious most of my life until I started taking an antidepressant a few years ago. Once I had been on it a month or two I began thinking: "Wow! This is how normal people must feel!" I still have anxiety about stuff but it isn't crippling, curl-up-in-bed-in-fetal-position anxiety. It's manageable. I can live my life. I can do public speaking engagements without feeling paralyzed and feeling sweat drip from my body. Pretty cool stuff... Best of luck!
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what works for some, may not work for others
I think the fact the LW took the time and expended the energy to write such a lengthy letter indicates that even if the pot smoking is not negatively affecting many aspects of his or her life, they are thinking about the habit in a negative light and, at that point, maybe it has become a problem that needs to be addressed.
That said, pot is an interesting drug that afftects different people in wide variety of ways. There are some who smoke and then can't function socially. All they can do is laugh at everything and they can't hold an intelligent conversation. Or they become so paranoid, they hide from everything and everyone. On the other hand, some people do benefit from pot smoking and are able to function, live productive and social lives, do good things for the people around them and the communities they live in. Sure, it's not so good for the health, but hey, most enjoyable things aren't, to some degree. I think moderation and choosing the right situation/time to smoke are the keys and each individual needs to find their appropriate level where they can continue to function and live productive and happy lives. For some, they can smoke everyday. For others, they can't smoke at all.
As for the laws, yes it is illegal. But it's an unjust law and sometimes laws just have to be broken. Just be careful and KNOW YOUR RIGHTS because cops and the (in)justice system will do all they can to convince you you have none.
As for drug tests, if it's a pee test, there are numerous low-cost, easy and effective methods to avoid detection. On the other hand, if they want your hair for the more expensive test, then you might be in trouble.
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Others may not have the same rosy view of your life
I've got a friend who smokes as alarmingly much as you do, in all his spare time every day. He has kinda bipolar views on life but a lot of the time tries to rationalize how great everything is really going despite. Needless to say he's completely deluded. You might be too. And as others have said, you're going to be jobless for months before you can pass a drug test, with the level of saturation your body currently has. Plus you probably won't be able to simply stop smoking so adjusting to a new way of dealing with life is going to take even longer. I'd get started on it sooner if I were you.
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Re: no_doubt.......chemistry lab vs. nature
It's great it's working for you, but I have a hard time believing that if pot is doing for the LW what a pill is doing for you, they should make that switch. Maybe they should just stick with the more natural method of stress relief that pot is rather than switching to some chemical synthesized in some pharma chemistry lab. Plus, if stress relief is my aim and these are my choices, I'd rather support my local pot dealer than some giant pharmaceutical corporation.
Cary's ideas of meditation, exercise, yoga, etc are much better alternatives. Always exhaust the natural options before going the pharma route.
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Bin There
I started out just like you. Im 38 now. I always told myself,"By the time I'm 35 I wont be doing this." Initially it was other self imposed restrictions like- only on vacations, only on week-ends, never in the morning, absolutely never at parent teacher conferences. But you nibble away at these self imposed restrictions because you realize you can break your own laws with little recourse. Well, 35 hit and I was still smoking. I think it was a combination of things that started to ween me off it.
1.) I had a ton of people in my life that did not do it, so I knew it was possible to go through life without being stoned.
2.) The internal dialogue that coexists with a secret addiction is the closest thing to insanity I have experienced. You are constantly "talking" yourself into your addiction; ie "Im okay" but answering, "am I okay?" Its endless and does create a hallmark of depression which is guilt. I hate being depressed.
3.) I really wanted this job that required a drug test.
4.) I kept adding up the total amount spent on pot over the course of an 18 year addiction and comparing that to my mortgage.
5.) My kids knew and my teenage son starting using.
I recognized that a vicious cyle had been created: smoking made me feel good, but also bad. The worse I felt, the more I smoked.
I also know that once it is out of your system for about 4 days, the craving dissapates. You still have fond memories of it, but you do recognize that smoking it will start that whole process all over again. Its a bottomless pit and I believe once the physical addiction, which does exist for me at least, is overcome, you can rationalize your way out of it.
Sounds to me like you want to quit. Try redirecting your thoughts; changing the channel. Use that little voice in your head to talk yourself out of your addiction just like you use it to talk yourself into it. Think of all the negatives and periodically convince yourself of the validity of those arguments. If you are convincing enough, the guilt will turn to self esteem and pride. At first it kind of hurts because you have to admit you dont like what you do.