Letters to the Editor
-
If It Works, It Works
I met my husband of eight (nearly 9) years in the Yahoo! Religion chat room.
'Twas a match made in heaven, so to speak.
;-)
-
Whatever works for you....
Don't be embarrassed! People meet in all kinds of weird ways. Anyhow, online dating services are becoming more and more mainstream and what stigma there might have been a few years back is fading fast.
Sometimes online dating is the only way to go. A friend of mine lives in a small town where the dating pool is pretty shallow and she's pretty much been driven online to find compatible guys.
Come up with a narrative that you're comfortable with and stick with it.
-
I met my husband of 8 years online
I know the feeling. Just make up a story that is palatabe for the assholes who don't understand:) I just say we met in a bar.
-
Thanks, Teensy for the tip on Last.fm
i'm pretty internet savvy (been online since 1992), but what i love most is reading about new sites to visit in the most unexpected places. teensy posted a letter here mentioning Last.fm and i had never heard of the site. a quick trip over there and wow - i have a new site to frequent! i'm a big fan of pandora, but had never heard of last.fm. so, thanks, teensy.
insofar as online dating is concerned, i haven't personally done it (yet), but i turned a friend onto the possibilities of it in 2003. she had been a widow more than a year, was very lonely, and i said, why not try online to meet new men?
she did, and began dating quite a lot. my only problem was she wasn't all that selective, though she did meet some interesting (and a couple scary) men. what i had trouble with was she always lied about her AGE and when she would meet up with far younger men they were obviously disappointed and never called her again.
so if you want to fudge on your age, go ahead, but try to make it at least a reasonable fudge. she was knocking 10-12 years off her age and could not live up to the fantasy...or the reality.
-
Diamonds need to be mined,...
I'm a decently looking guy, self-employed, athletic,...but I'm a STUTTERER. I dated older women until I was 30 because they were the only ones mature enough to have the patience to listen to me. When I finally felt women my own age had caught up with me, I fell in love with my crazy, beautiful next door neighbor. After the craziness, I went on match.com and dated 25 women in 3 years, incl. my current wife of five years, (a lovely wall street attorney with a kind heart and a huge brain.)The whole experience of on-line dating was my education in the modern woman and the dating scene. In fact it gave me MORE confidence as I could approach women with the person I truly was, inside, instead of a nervous nut in a bar I loathed going to. There are so many thousands of people doing it, I don't understand how LW can feel so shy concerning this mode of meeting. In fact, the women who became my wife, her Father turned out to be my mothers old boss! (thats a real NY story!) Meanwhile, my old neighbor, who I am still friends with, used to pooh-pooh my plan to do the on-line dating thing. she turned down all the imperfect men who proposed to her and is now living at home, with her parents at age 37. Which woman would you rather be LW? You or a born again teenager, being told to take out the garbage? Be loud, be proud. there is a 50% divorce rate and so many lonely people. Grab your man's hand and be proud you are able to carry on a working relationship. And if its right, do the work, make it last. THAT YOU MET, this is the diamond. The rest is a day at the mine from which you may come home, ...to your man, at the end of the day.
-
Just use the phrase I use...
"So how did you meet your husband?"
"We met online -- I tell you, you can find pretty much anything on the internet these days."
Delivered with a cheeky grin, most any statement can work. The reason people probably seem awkward about it with you is because you SOUND so ashamed. But if you deliver it matter-of-factly and with a bit of humour, you'll probably get back what I usually do: "Really? My cousin/coworker/neighbour met her boyfriend that way!"
EVERYBODY knows someone who met their partner online. Trust me, it is really no big deal. Even my grandmother, upon finding out how we met, said "Well, that's a lot smarter than meeting at a bar! At least it's daylight and you're sober!"
-
my great advice
I've met a bunch of my best friends online. it's a little embarrassing but I like them enough to get over it. but once i met these two friends who met eachother online. They told me that when people ask them how they met.... they lie!
they really do! they say "We met through friends." I was like, it's nice that you guys are close enough to lie about this together. Because they were just super normal girls, right?
My advice: Tell those close to you the truth, so you don't have to "keep your stories straight" or omit the online circumstance, but detail your first date... but why get worked up over that? Just say, "We met through friends." It's just less embarrassing. and I've met ALOT of people online, but come on, the internet is nerdy!
I DON'T think that's a "BAD" thing (every single girl in my office is enthusiastically clicking their way to a soulmate, and my boss met her husband speed dating), but why worry! just say you met through friends. ta-da!
-
Change People's Focus
I can totally relate LW. I, too, met my guy online. I felt extremely uncomfortable about telling people for the same reasons as you. I was tired of getting "that look" - they one where they think you're a bit of a loser and perhaps desperate and most certainly hooking up with a mass murderer.
So, I stopeed telling people. I now say, "We met on a blind date and our first date was amazing! We met at a restuarant on the river, and ended up staying for 7 hours!" and then I launch into telling our whole first date story.
I find that that moves pepole's attention from 'how' we met to 'what happened' when we met and they get distratcted with the whole first date thing and I never have to explain how we met again.
It works like a charm.
And I'm with you - online is a great way to meet people. I'm marrying my guy in May. :-)