Letters to the Editor
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How about "we met in a duel?"
The first meeting between my husband and me involved lots of yelling, physical contact, and near-violence. By the time it was over, we were both covered in bruises, heaving for breath, and there had been no intimate contact involved.
We're fencers who met at opposite ends of a duel.
When people ask how we met, I'm sometimes tempted to use "online" because it saves having to look at the same old blank stares and launch into the same old story followed by the usual tedious and longwinded explanations. But still, it's a good conversation starter.
So sometimes people look at you funny. That's way, way better than being boring. Get used to it and have fun. :-)
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Say. It. Loud.
I met the man I'm going to marry on Last.fm. He's an all around good fella who also meets my one immutable criteria: great taste in music. Meeting people online frankly just works for me. I meet people with whom I have things in common, and whom I might not meet otherwise. It just makes sense. I think it's quite normal these days.
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Lose the stigma - no one cares.
How boring would the internet be if we weren't trying to meet people online ?? One has to think internet to not be some lame magazine, on the last pages of which, are corny personals but a vast place with a diversity that mirrors life outside of it. It is just another meeting place sometimes, not necessarily a hiding place for losers in real life.
I date on and off line all the time. I never feel awkward about it because all that the internet does, is to introduce, give you an idea about the person (if they are being at least a wee-bit honest) ahead of time and a frame of reference for interaction (business, dating or friendship or whatever else).
I think it so hip to date online from an interesting site.
Just relax and be cool.
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Say it Loud and Proud
Hey,
I got married last week to a wonderful girl I met on-line - I met her 2 years and 19 days ago, and we're hitched. I'm 35. It's great.
Never be ashamed of having the courage to look for love. Love is what makes the world go around. But you have to go out and search for it, and when you find it, grab it with both hands. Meeting people online is a supreme sign of self-confidence and self-awareness. Most people at scared of loving and trying to love!
"I was single, and I was looking for someone. I dated a few people - meeting them through friends and through work. I happened to meet X online. We first met at ABC, and I thought YXZ, and it went from there. Our second date was at ABC too."
- that's interesting and very, very cool.
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Online dating
Your problems with meeting your guy online are your own insecurities. I would bet that 99% of any weird reaction you get from people is because they're picking up on it.
I date online. One of the big deal breakers for me in a guy's profile? The ones who say things like "let's pretend we met somewhere else." Somebody who's too insecure to say we met online isn't the guy for me. Think about it....if you think that using an online site says something negative about you, it stands to reason you think it's says something negative about your guy for using it too. Not only do you need to get over it, you need to get over it before your guy figures out you're embarassed about it - because it's just a short step from being embarassed about him.
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Make up a creative cover story
What does your guy think? Is he embarrassed? Why or why not? Have you told him how you feel about what you perceive as a stigma? What does he think?
If your guy also feels a stigma attached to online dating, then you two could agree to make up a clever, creative fake story. You could watch the old people in "When Harry Met Sally" for ideas. Or you could make up something completely from scratch. Each time you tell the story, embellish it a little more. Pretty soon you'll have a really great yarn, perfect for entertaining large dinner parties.
For example, you could say that you met him on the tarmac during a trip to Bosnia. Maybe he was a visiting dignitary, and maybe you were commissioned to read a poem to him upon his arrival. Then, the next time you tell the story, you could jazz it up by saying that there were snipers shooting at you, and the two of you ducked for cover together and it was love at first lunge. Pretty soon, your story could be an action epic, completel with daredevil plane landings and whirlwind leaps into armored vehicles.
Or, you could just accept that online dating is completely legitimate and not worry so much what other people think. If they judge you because you wanted companionship and you were resourceful enough to use a proven method of getting it, they're assholes anyway.
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I might give that reaction..
I'm not fond of online dating only because of many my friends' experiences. So if you told me, I might get that look on my face. But it's not actually a look of condescention, it's a look of "oh, now I understand how it worked, the posting, the screening, the initial tentative contact, the growing exchanges etc." so there's not a lot more to ask about how you met, you just told me in one pithy sentence. And I'd be thrilled for you. I have one friend who tells her online meeting story about her husband in such a hilarious way - her demands, the impossibility of him meeting them, he up and did anyway - that it keeps everyone enthralled. It's not the online bit, it's whether that fact is an ending or a beginning to your story. I find "our parents chose our profiles online, we met and agreed to marry" by my Indian friends an equal showstopper - what does one say after that?! When they go on to describe what it was like to meet under their parent's eyes, that's when it gets to be fun.