Letters to the Editor
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Just say you met on a blind date!
There is no need to elaborate beyond that.
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Taboo, who?
I actually "met" my husband via Salon Personals. Our actual first in-person meeting was at a fetish party. I was a professional dominatrix at the time, and I double-dog-dared him to show up, as he wasn't part of that scene.
We tend to go with the "met online" part of the story when asked.
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"depressed and embarrassed"???
Oh good lord.
Just tell people you met at the STD clinic, then.
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My cousin met her husband online
They're happily married with two kids. And really, who cares how a couple met if they're happy together and have a stable relationship? If you're embarrassed, just make up a cute story. Or just smile mysteriously and say nothing at all.
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At this day in age it is far better then meeting at some club.
Well if you wish to laugh, me and my wonderful wife of 4 years 4/03/08 met via phone. on the
chat lines as they say.me in Fresno,CA. and her from Merced.i used to travel thousounds of miles to meet singles.go to church funtions,atend college,laundry mats,send random flowers.And well the phone made it all happen for us.you see I wen't to go see a movie with my grandmother Salares.and when i had got home i felt the movie was so good i wanted to share it.
well that lead to other phone calls then she came to see me it was all love from there.and if i had the chance to do it again you bet.meeting on the phone is easy,and if you don't like what you here just hang up.i do recomend for those meeting for the first time play it safe make it a double date.
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Just own it
I've been sitting here trying to come up with suggestions for helping the LW not feel self-conscious about meeting her boyfriend online, and I'm hitting a wall. I think what it comes down to for me is this: if you think it's okay for friends who are happily settling down with people they met this way, why isn't it okay for you? If you could make the decision to try online dating, why not own it? I agree that there probably is some lingering stigma about this, but acting like online dating is some shameful act isn't going to make that stigma go away. You did it, there's nothing wrong with it, you got a great result from it -- own it, already. (I say this having done the online dating thing in the past, and having met my boyfriend in an online discussion forum. I've never felt the need to hide any of that from friends or family.)
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Real Truth
If you don't like "online" try "We met through a professional service. It is so much more civilized than the bar scene. People have been meeting through match makers for centuries."
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Silly Question, Silly Answer
I got on-line in 1996, and in 1997 I flew to Australie and met 5 new people, and yes, 3 were men. In 1998, I went to Ireland to do the same. In the meantime I was regularly meeting and dating men in my new town - on-line.
I told everyone then, when it was so new, and so dangerous, and so unknown, exactly what I was doing, and I was "adventurous". They may have thought otherwise but nobody said so. Who knew I was so far ahead of the curve?
Today, it is simply mundane. Everyone does it. I don't anymore - having experienced all I had on-line, I was ready for my guy when he found me in real-life and real-time, but for 12 years now, I have encouraged my friends to meet people on-line. And I was never ashamed of the fact that for 5-6 years it was totally normal, on-line was my life.
The answer is "We met on-line! It was great! We got to know each other in email and phone calls before we ever met in person, which gave us a really firm foundation to what you see now - best friends and the loves of our lives".
There is nothing to be embarrassed about in 2008 about meeting on-line! Just thank your lucky stars it was there for you and celebrate it!
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You Have to Own It
LW, I too, used to be embarrassed to admit I was dating someone I met online. We'd agree to tell people, "oh, you know, through friends of friends" which inevitably led to stammering and crazy tales that screamed to everyone that we were ashamed. And then, one day I met B---- online. And suddenly I wasn't embarrassed anymore. However it was that I managed to meet this great man, it worked. There is no shame in finding true love and a partner to grow old with.
Now, when I look people in the eye and tell them that we met on match.com, there's no more awkwardness, I no longer feel like people are judging me, or that I failed through "normal" routes. Instead, people either recognize the joy I've found or they show a glimmer of hope that maybe they, too, can find Love with a capital "L."
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Say it with a grin
Cary's right, it's all in the presentation. You don't have to drone on forever, though. Just say, 'my love life was going nowhere, I tried out an on-line dating service and found a winner on the first try'. If your smile's big and genuine, people will give you envious, not funny looks.
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Be proud
Be proud that you were able to move past the traditional ways of meeting people ("I have this friend you gotta meet, you'd totally hit it off! Oh yeah, he's got a great personality and he drives a nice car!" "Is it hot in here or is it just you?") and found a great mate using a very thorough screening process, namely someone who is expressive with words and can read. I'm sure you know by now how many men are too lazy to write a personalized response to an online posting, and some are even lazier about writing a profile to set themselves apart from the hundreds of others clamoring for your attention.
Some people still think that online personals are for the desperate. The type of people who read Salon.com and use the online personals attached to Salon.com are really top notch. You'd never find this many amazing people in such high concentration anywhere else.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with meeting someone through online personals. Screw those boring closed minded people who have to rely on alcohol and dim lights to lubricate the first impression.