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Oh, and.......
I have to add that I don't think its at all unreasonable for the LW to tell her husband that both Other Guy and his wife have confided in her about marriage difficulties. It would be weird if she didn't tell her husband. However, she doesn't have to share the details of either conversation.
As Allie correctly points out the LW should avoid at all costs making critical comments about Other Guy to his wife, and vice versa. And if either of them gets nasty about the other in the LW's hearing she has the absolute right to gently point out that she feels uncomfortable with those comments.
And, um, who are we having wine with?? Did I miss something?