Letters to the Editor
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What's the big deal here?
LW must have left something out.
If I'm reading this right, Other Guy and his wife both have told LW separately that there is unhappiness, probably a separation. So, both parties to the marriage know something's up. Just because LW didn't tell Other Guy that she already knew there was trouble, that the wife has told her for this for years? What's to tell--he already knows that.
Now, if LW told Other Guy that he needs to dump that woman pronto, with an eye toward moving in on Other Guy herself, that's wouldn't be nice now, would it? But that doesn't seem to be the case.
LW is under no obligation to tell Other Guy or his wife anything the other has said. If Other Guy had asked LW whether the wife had talked to her and she had lied, that might be different. But in that case, all LW'd have to say is that she's not comfortable discussing conversations with the wife and vice versa. That's not a betrayal; that's ethical behavior.
So, I'm thinking there's more here than just that the husband and wife are each telling LW the same tale of woe.